Did my Grandma's sister tell a lie on the 1939 Register?

[James18]

When I met my second husband at a social function, I lied about my age and said I was three years younger than I actually am - I really don't know why I lied, but I did, not imagining in my wildest dreams that we would eventually marry! I had to keep the deception up for the 15 years of our marriage and frequently had to bribe my mum to keep quiet, lol.

I cannot begin to get my head round this. What on earth was the point? Why didn't you just tell him early on? What about birthday cards from friends and family? I don't understand how he couldn't have found out, let alone why you'd have bothered to keep up the pretense for 15 years. Amazing.

[AntonyM]

These things do matter to people.

I was registrar at a recent wedding where the bride was quite a few years older than the groom, a second marriage for both. I think he was early 50s, and she was closer to 60, and although the groom knew her true age his family didn't and she was terrified they would find out. The bride was visibly shaking as his son and daughter came forward to be witnesses but by careful manipulation of a piece of blotting paper I managed to just about obscure the age box on the register whilst they signed ..... she was so grateful !

[James18]

Some people...

[Olde Crone Holden]

James

As I said, it was a stupid and pretty pointless remark at a social function, made to someone I thought I would never see again, let alone marry. Once you are over 21 people never say "Happy 53rd birthday" or whatever, so it never really crops up again.

My mum thought it was funny! My children STILL do not know my exact age. It would be very easy for them to find out if they were the slightest bit interested.

OC

[Chrissie Smiff]

Some people...

I assume that this was directed at the lady in Anthony's post and not OC. However, I would ask ask you James to please read our T&C's - http://www.familytreeforum.com/conte...and-Conditions Especially this bit -
•Always display a positive, friendly attitude and be respectful of other people's opinions.

[James18]

I assume that this was directed at the lady in Anthony's post.

Correct.

[JBee]

My Mum knocked 2 years off her age on her wedding certificate and even retired at 68 instead of 65. Her death certificate and headstone has the wrong age too. Only when I started genealogy and couldn't find her birth registration that we found out.

[kathsgirl.48]

gawd hope its right hate wasting peoples money please let me know.

I will let you know what the outcome is, fingers and legs crossed!

[kathsgirl.48]

gawd hope its right hate wasting peoples money please let me know.

RESULT! Yes it's her alright! Correct parents and address etc. Well done Val!!!!! She was born in November 1900.

[Guest]

thank goodness can uncross my bits now

[Anne in Carlisle]

Well done Val!!!
Anne

[kathsgirl.48]

thank goodness can uncross my bits now

LOL! She was born at 7 Montague St, Bristol. Even her father's and mother's surname is Davies, but Mother's maiden name is Lydia Board which is correct. So the 1939 Register is incorrect too!

[Guest]

Is that right about Davies being the Parents name, just goes to show never take it at face value, glad you are happy.

[JBee]

So you didn't find a birth for 1902? I had a Sarah and 3 years later another Sarah - the first one had died so the parents had named the next child with the same name.

[kathsgirl.48]

Is that right about Davies being the Parents name, just goes to show never take it at face value, glad you are happy.

Well I wonder where the original mistake occurred as their surname was DAVIS and not Davies..

[Guest]

JBee I have a few like that some of us have seen where they use the same name 3 or even 4 times, strange how generally speaking we dont do that now.
Must say Anne I am so relieved it was the right one.

[Olde Crone Holden]

Teresa

They didn't write the certificate, the registrar wrote it and they would have been far too polite to correct him. People bowed down to authority then and wouldn't question it.

OC

[Guy]

James

As I said, it was a stupid and pretty pointless remark at a social function, made to someone I thought I would never see again, let alone marry. Once you are over 21 people never say "Happy 53rd birthday" or whatever, so it never really crops up again.

My mum thought it was funny! My children STILL do not know my exact age. It would be very easy for them to find out if they were the slightest bit interested.

OC

I totally agree OC; concern about age and requiring proof of age seems to be a modern phenomenon.

In the past age was seldom a factor for adults and as you say a lady’s age was never mentioned.
I knew my mum’s date of birth from the day I could read (as I had a copy of a pedigree my grandfather had compiled) but I never converted that DoB into an age, it never occurred to me as it was just not polite to do so.
In a similar way once we became adults very few people asked how old we were.

One thing I have noticed is the relationship between “privacy” and intrusive questions.

As people hide behind privacy and demand that more and more aspects of their lives to be kept secret. More questions are asked and more legislation is put in place requiring people to provide “private” information.
In the past the information was there but it was never accessed either by individuals or by authority there was no need as the starting position was people were basically honest.
I have come to the conclusion that as a result of all this “privacy” the basic tenant now for authorities is people are dishonest and will always lie until forced to tell the truth.

If I am correct this is a sad deterioration of social life and definitely the start of the slippery slope to the world of 1984.

Cheers
Guy

[Olde Crone Holden]

LOL Guy!

I don't think people are basically dishonest, I think they are either cautious or uncaring. There are very few occasions in llife when it is absolutely necessary to tell the truth about one's age. It simply does not matter. Authority makes us prove things because of the current hysteria about identity theft etc. The more proof they demand, the less relaible the conclusions must be. For example if I had come to the UK on forged papers (for some nefarious reason) I'd make sure I had a history in place. It is often the innocent who cannot prove things, not the guilty.

Example: When I renewed my passport in 2003 after letting it lapse for a few years, I had to produce my Decree Absolute from the year 1971, something I had not had to produce for the original passport. How ridiculous, especially as I had married and divorced again. I couldn't have married a second time as a divorced person without producing my DA to the Registrar.

OC

[kathsgirl.48]

Teresa

They didn't write the certificate, the registrar wrote it and they would have been far too polite to correct him. People bowed down to authority then and wouldn't question it.

OC

Many years ago when I first started tracing my Grandma's siblings I wrote to the Bristol Registrar's office to see if they could find Violet Davis' Birth registration, and they had no record of it! Now I know why it was under Davies!!!! But then it was probably hand written back then and I suppose the writting was no so good! Not as bad as the Irish ones though.