I've often heard the question asked: "Why do people wait until their family have died, before beginning to search for their family?"

I can only give an opinion based on my own experience and for people whose circumstances are similar to mine. I reckon this is because people are torn, torn between... dying to know and scared to find out. Especially when a heavy veil of mystery completely surrounds their very existence, like illegitimacy, adoption or perhaps an unknown father, or maybe a mother who left the family home. If a person has never known the circumstances of their birth and it is an unspeakable taboo subject, then your imagination runs riot and you fear the worst. The deeper the secret, the more your imagination runs away with your fears. It's the fear of the unknown and... the hurt is too deep.

So, you wait. You wait until everybody you are close to has died, before you then begin the search for that unknown mother or father. You want to be told facts, without opinion, truth without anything added or taken away. It is too emotional to ask family who you are close to... you would sooner ask a stranger and discover the facts alone, discreetly, without opening-up and telling even your closest friends. Because you have no idea what skeletons you will discover hiding in that closet, and so, you would sooner open that closet door alone.

This was my reason for putting my search for my mystery father onto the back burner for so long... too long. I would try half-heartedly and then give up too easily. Of course, 20 years ago when my search began, I didn't have a computer back then and it never even entered my head to use Genealogy to trace my father. I was thinking more down the lines of a private detective, which 20 years ago, was far beyond my purse strings, as every penny I had was ploughed into my business. You are driven by emotion, not logic, or common sense and you overlook the blatantly obvious, the things that are staring you in the face, the things that were, in my case, under my nose!

You don't open up to people, who could have helped if only you had. It's a time when you need a fresh pair of eyes, for someone to step back and take a look from another angle. You are far too involved and much too close to see the full picture.

My family secret was nothing like what my imagination had feared and instead of uncovering a sordid family scandal, I have uncovered a heart-warming story, which has turned my mother into my hero and with the help of the members of FTF I have found a family to be proud of, with roots that have made the hairs on the back of my neck stand on end!

My story and my thread are a great example of why website forums like FTF are invaluable. To be able to find help and support and to pour your heart out, whilst remaining incognito is one of the best things that the internet has provided. To get practical help and advice, emotional support, whilst lying on your own coach, in your own home, instead of some shrinks coach, all sounds a little far fetched and too good to be true, and yet, my Hospital Records thread is timed and dated proof that help like this does exist... on this very website.

This time last year, if someone had told me that this time next year, not only would I have found my late father, met and been welcomed by the descendants of his siblings, had a photo of him and at the same time, solved a mystery for his family of why he disappeared and now be writing a book about the entire story... I would never have believed it in a million years.

I've never written a Blog before, come to that, I've never written a book before either, but in life you just never know what's waiting around that corner for you... or what others have planned for you!

So, while I'm sitting twiddling my thumbs again, as my Hospital Records thread has hit another brick wall, I thought I would take the time and this opportunity to say thank you for all the help and support I've had from the following members over this last 12 months on FTF:-

OC, Moggie, Tilly Mint, Margaretmarch, Annswaby, Kit, Gerry, Margaret in Burton, Peppie, Jill, Maggie, Night Owl, Joan of Archives, Clematised, Mary from Italy, Christine in Herts, Naomi, Chissie Smiff, JayG, Janet in Yorkshire, Angelena: Ann in Carlisle: Bel: BigOoms: Blackberry: Borobabs: Breckland Jane: Buttercup: Claretaylor22: Champagnega: Chich: Chocolate Lover: Curly: Dahaniuk: Darannon: Dancing Sheila: Elaine59: Elaine in Spain: Elizabeth Herts: Englishedith: Flashieboy: Frazzled: Guy: Happy Cake: Harry’s Mum: Helxx: Jaffie: Janet in Yorkshire: Jaylass: JBee: Jenoco: Jessbowbag: Jules of the desert: Judith M: Just Gillian: Karen S: Katarzyne: Kite Runner: Kiwi Chris: Kylejustin: Langley Vale Sue: Laura the Explora: Lindsay: Libby: Loopy Linda in LaLa Land: Marion H: Maze: Meridian Line: Merry Monty Montgomery: Muggins in Sussex: Ozzie Gert: Pat Hope: Pamdidle: Ragdollsophie: Red-Witch: Rosi Glow: Sand Dancer: Sue at the seaside: Tessie31082: Trelena: Tinkerbe: Tony Cummings: Wendy Pusey: Wyneford: QueenB: Moderators and Administrators at FTF.

If I've missed anyone out I do sincerely apologise. I also want to say a special thanks to my family, old and new, dead and alive- for the support and help that they have given in their own special way.

Wallaby X


BOOK INFORMATION:


EDIT: 22nd May 2016.

Some Good News: My Book - The Daddy of All Mysteries - has been given 4-Stars and Awarded a Red Ribbon by The Wishing Shelf Book Awards 2015!

The Paperback has now sold-out, but the Kindle, e-Book additions are still available on Amazon.co.uk & Amazon.com where you can read the first few chapters.

https://www.amazon.co.uk/Daddy-all-M.../dp/B00Y3OIZW4

Here's a Link to the Judges' Reviews on Amazon.co.uk

https://www.amazon.co.uk/product-rev...#R5Z9JC016R4V1

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14th February 2009 was the day I joined this website. So today I am pleased to announce the launch of a book that I've written about my family's history & the search for the father I never knew. "The Daddy of all Mysteries" by Jess Welsby (aka Wallaby) could not have been written without the help of the members of FTF. I'm pleased to say that it's now published & is available on Amazon.co.uk.



EDIT: 1st July 2015.

For those of you who don't get the Lost Cousin's newsletter, I thought you might like to read an online interview I did with Peter for his brilliant Lost Cousins website.




An eBook version of The Daddy of all Mysteries is now available Worldwide for Kindle, iPad, Nook on all the Amazon websites.
The paperback version of The Daddy of all Mysteries has now sold out.

http://www.amazon.co.uk/The-Daddy-Al.../dp/0993177808



My mum's story is going into the Liverpool Echo & FTF is mentioned !!!





4th April 2015: Today my book has had a great review from Peter Calver on his Lost Cousins Website.

Here's the link to his review:








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Looking for :-
FRIEDMAN/FREEDMAN/FREEMAN in Liverpool, Leeds, Dublin. Sweksna/Sveksna, Kovno- Russia (now Kaunas in Lithuania)
COHEN in Liverpool, Leeds, Germany, Russia, Manchester.
SIMON in Liverpool, Leeds, Russia.
ROSENBERG in Leeds, Russia.
BROMBERG in Leeds, Russia.
TAYLOR in Leeds, Germany.
LEVIN in Dublin, Ireland Russia
LEVY in England, Ireland.
HARRIS in Dublin, Belfast, Ireland, Sunderland, Cardiff, South Wales.
YANKELOVITCH in Liverpool, Manchester, Russia,
GREENBLATT in Liverpool, Manchester, Russia.
ZOROCHOVITZ in Dublin, Ireland, Hampstead & Karkelan, Paura, Kovno.
FOX in Liverpool
FROST in Liverpool
ABRAMSON/ABRAHAMSON in Dublin, South Africa.
RUSSELL in Belfast, Dublin, Bray.
BERG(E) in Dublin, Liverpool, Manchester, London, Russia.



I Have Since Had My DNA Tested and the Test Has Proven a link to My Friedman Cousins.
So, I am my Father's daughter.