Look ups !! Just an acknowledgement would be nice

[Penelope]

Redacted

[LorraineJ]

I always thank people for trying to help me on here ,and as I'm not as quick as some dont always manage to get to help others as much ,but when I do after sometimes spending quite some time finding stuff it would be nice if the person concerned would just acknowledge it instead of just replying to the next to post even if it is wrong or doesnt help a thanks would be nice.
Its only a minor few but most annoying.
I find myself going back and deleting my posts as they are ignored anyway .

Was it you that very kindly looked up who Alberta Thomas may have been and then deleted it? I wasn't being ignorant, I got called away (family stuff) and was going to come back and deal with your post a bit later, then it had gone. I remembered her Dad was called William A Thomas born in Conneticutt and think her Mum was Eileen, so if you'd like to put the info back again, I'd be grateful. Also someone else had posted something I wasn't clear about the meaning and wanted clarification.

[Guest]

its okay Richard thanks for the offer though, I am knee deep in my lot at the moment, his can wait .

[Durham Lady]

I must be lucky.
Everyone I've done look ups for have thanked me and also offered to pay for the photocopies I've done at Worcester History Centre so I can scan and send them the original details.
I just tell folk I don't need paying but to make a donation to the site some time instead. I'm always very grateful for anyone doing me look ups so feel this is my way of reciprocating.

[MarionH]

Viv has done numerous look ups for me at Somerset and I always make sure I thank her - I am just so grateful that someone can use their precious time to help out on brickwalls. It costs absolutely nothing for p's and q's - perhaps the culprits are in the "younger years" and their parents didn't teach them such things!
(Didn't mean to single anyone out btw!! Several other members have given me help and good ideas as well)
I have wanted to see a "bow and scrape" smilie in the list or a hug - would that help those who have a good "forgettery"???
You're welcome Paul!!!!:D

[Guy]

I am sorry if this offends but please remember the following points.

Whilst reminding the posters on courteous behaviour etc. we must remember it is dis-courteous to complain about lack of acknowledgement. ;)

The subscribers to this list are not infants who need to be taught and reminded of manners but adolescents and adults who are capable of making their own decisions.

Lists and forums that contain replies interspersed with continual thank yous very soon become fatuous and bloated. This leads to the messages being deleted and lost rather than being archived and forming a useful resource.

I was always taught to help people because I could, not because I would receive thanks.
E.G.
A few years ago I was able to help someone who had asked a question on a mailing list.
This involved me driving about 15-20 miles to the location and once there searching a number of graveyards and asking those in charge of the graveyards for ideas for further research.
This in turn lead me to a church a few miles away (now a private house) which involved a return trip the following day.
To cut a long story short this research helped the lister as their subsequent postings reflected my research.
No acknowledgement of my post was made and that upset my partner who had come with me.
However she understood my attitude to the matter when I explained that we had had two days out engaged in research we enjoyed doing.
In other words we benefited by helping another.
Perhaps it is I who should have thanked the original lister for posting the question, rather than them thanking me. ;)
Cheers
Guy

[Richard]

It's not just about being thanked though Guy, if someone doesn't acknowledge your work at all, how can you even be sure they have received it? Sure I find it baffling at the mentality of someone who requests help, and said person doesn't reply at all when they get it, simply because boot on other foot I would at least say thank you, and you do tend to expect to be treated by others how you would treat them..old fashioned notion now perhaps?

It didn't particulary upset me, as you rightly say you don't do these things looking for praise anyway. But when this did happen I was more worried the person hadn't even seen the post. If you've spent hours of your own time helping someone, surely 30 seconds typing an acknowledgement so you at very least know they have seen the post isn't too much?

[Joy Dean]

It's not just about being thanked though Guy, if someone doesn't acknowledge your work at all, how can you even be sure they have received it? Sure I find it baffling at the mentality of someone who requests help, and said person doesn't reply at all when they get it, simply because boot on other foot I would at least say thank you, and you do tend to expect to be treated by others how you would treat them..old fashioned notion now perhaps?

It didn't particulary upset me, as you rightly say you don't do these things looking for praise anyway. But when this did happen I was more worried the person hadn't even seen the post. If you've spent hours of your own time helping someone, surely 30 seconds typing an acknowledgement so you at very least know they have seen the post isn't too much?

Quite agree; if there is no acknowledgement, you will never know if it has been seen and, as you said, do as you would be done by :-)

[Durham Lady]

Lists and forums that contain replies interspersed with continual thank yous very soon become fatuous and bloated. This leads to the messages being deleted and lost rather than being archived and forming a useful resource

On this list we do have the facility to private message our thanks to the helper so the thread keeps clear of extra messages.

At the end of the day, to say thank you is good manners.

[WendyPusey]

I was always taught to say thank you. I make sure my son does the same.

It costs nothing to type a thank you.

[Stella]

Saying thank you is basic good manners, something I was always taught to do from being a young child. My 2 grandchildren were taught the same and hence never forget to say thank you. I certainly do not think it discourteous to complain when a person fails to say thank you.

[Guest]

quite agree Richard its about knowing the person has actually seen your response its not so much about being thanked Guy ,but when they reply to somebody who posted after you and just ignore what you have said its extremely rude.

[Pipeman]

Dear All,
I often come onto the site just to read what others have to say or enquire about. I'm not the sharpest knife in the draw when it comes to research, so reading your answers to other's questions is interesting, informing and often humoures. I have have been helped on a few occasions, often before I can take a breath and have been only too pleased for it. So please all, carry on doing what you do well in the true spirit of this site.

Oh, incase I have been remiss------thanks for for all you do. Pipeman

[Guest]

dont worry pipeman it wont stop me or others helping if we can

[Dawn1]

At least this site has got it's act together! On the GR site, so many members miss out on info because there are no instructions for them on how to return to the My Threads icon. New people go away thinking that they will receive an alert when someone replies - if only. Helpers get vexed and occasionally obnoxious but it isn't always a case of bad manners it's simple ignorance of the workings of that site.

There - feel better for that!!