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Am I being silly????

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  • #21
    I'm always deeply saddened when I find the gravestones of babies but this one became all the more poignant when I researched her and found that after her death her parents moved away from the area and never had any more children.

    In memory of dear little Nellie, beloved daughter of J & A Marsh, aged 3 weeks, died December 1881, Feed My Lambs.

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    • #22
      Originally posted by Mary from Italy View Post
      But apart from that particular case, I've been told that it wasn't the done thing to smile on photos until fairly recently, so people aren't necessarily looking serious because they're miserable.
      I think it was the very long exposures that were needed. Think of maintaining a happy smile for a minute or more.
      Uncle John - Passed away March 2020

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      • #23
        Originally posted by Harrys mum View Post
        I've just finshed writing out the wills I received from Lancs RO and got quite sad when I read...


        .........I, Hugh Addison of Hannakin near Hawkshead in the County Palatine of Lancsater, yeoman, being somewhat infirm of body but of sound and perfect mind and memory praised to God..............


        Would you believe I felt really sad when I read the "somewhat infirm of body" part..... He's been dead since 1743!!!!!


        Have I become too involved in this tree?????????
        I am afraid you are being too emotional and looking at the will with the wrong view-point.
        Such a disclaimer is a normal general disclaimer to prevent the will being challenged.

        Wills & Testaments used to be made on, or shortly before, the death-bed.
        It was therefore the normal state of affairs to be sick or frail in body. It however was also of the utmost importance to be sound in mind otherwise a disenchanted relative could claim the deceased had been pressured into writing something he/she did not mean.

        Try not to read too much into such standard phrases.
        Cheers
        Guy
        Guy passed away October 2022

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        • #24
          I think we all feel sad when we find deaths or misery - if we didn't have any feelings for our ancestors we wouldn't be so bothered about tracing them.

          I also think how sad it must have been for many of our ancestors who lost children, or maybe their parents died prematurely, when they couldn't afford a gravestone, and wouldn't have had a photograph or any thing to remind them.

          My gt grandmother Emma was pregnant 9 times, only had 6 live births and 3 of those died, one aged 5 weeks old.

          My OH had an elder brother that died aged 2 minutes and I don't think he was even buried decently. The only person who knew about it was my f-i-l who never spoke about it. My m-i-l was told the baby was born dead.
          ~ with love from Little Nell~
          Chowns, Dunt, Emms, Mealing, Purvey & Smoothy

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          • #25
            Originally posted by Guy View Post
            I am afraid you are being too emotional and looking at the will with the wrong view-point.
            Such a disclaimer is a normal general disclaimer to prevent the will being challenged.

            Wills & Testaments used to be made on, or shortly before, the death-bed.
            It was therefore the normal state of affairs to be sick or frail in body. It however was also of the utmost importance to be sound in mind otherwise a disenchanted relative could claim the deceased had been pressured into writing something he/she did not mean.

            Try not to read too much into such standard phrases.
            Cheers
            Guy


            OH Guy.....................

            you sound so much my my husband....his response when I sad it was sad he was infirm .........."Well, he would have been...he died, didn't he??"

            I actually hadn't seen the 'infirm in body' bit in a will before.

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            • #26
              Geordiegirl

              Same here too. My daughter is not interested - perhaps she will be as she gets older. Anyway, I have shown her where the information is and she has promised to be at least the guardian. In the meantime I am passing on the information to as many close connections as possible. Otherwise, apart from personal satisfaction, it would all be pretty pointless.
              CAROLE : "A CHIP OFF THE OLD BLOCK"

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              • #27
                So glad its not just my lot that are heartless about their forebears. One of my sons, when I showed him the death cert of my gt x 3 grandfather (having searched for years for it) and told him he'd died of old age at 93, said "why are you so excited? You knew he was dead!"
                ~ with love from Little Nell~
                Chowns, Dunt, Emms, Mealing, Purvey & Smoothy

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                • #28
                  Yes, like the evening I excitedly announced to my family that I had pinned down my oldest ancestor born ca 1520 - they barely lifted their eyes from the TV - but does it really matter who the information is passed on to. I think it's just important that it's passed on to as many sincere people as possible.
                  CAROLE : "A CHIP OFF THE OLD BLOCK"

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                  • #29
                    Originally posted by Guy View Post
                    I am afraid you are being too emotional and looking at the will with the wrong view-point.
                    Such a disclaimer is a normal general disclaimer to prevent the will being challenged.

                    Wills & Testaments used to be made on, or shortly before, the death-bed.
                    It was therefore the normal state of affairs to be sick or frail in body. It however was also of the utmost importance to be sound in mind otherwise a disenchanted relative could claim the deceased had been pressured into writing something he/she did not mean.

                    Try not to read too much into such standard phrases.
                    Cheers
                    Guy
                    I suppose its relatively easy to assume you're soon to depart this life if you've got a long-standing illness like TB or whatever.

                    I would say the majority of my 19th century & earlier were written within weeks, if not days, of death. (One or two perhaps a year or so earlier.)

                    However, I do wonder whether some of them might actually have been written posthumously

                    I have one widow who died (1873, aged 69) of "apoplexy" within days of writing her Will. Did she have a sudden premonition I wonder?

                    The Will sounds like it was made without the benefit of a solicitor to advise her, and several of the bequests are along the lines of "I leave to my daughter Elizabeth the amount of £10 which she borrowed from me in 1871"
                    She only named 8 of her 9 children; the daughter not mentioned was the one who registered the death (she was 30 & unmarried). This daughter subsequently married one of the witnesses, who was the farm manager.
                    Vicky

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                    • #30
                      My eldest son isn't very interested but my 11 year old often asks "how's the tree going Mum"? and is very helpful when I'm searching for graves. He found it very sad that some ancestors had had children that died in infancy and they named the next child with the same name. when searching a Churchyard we found a gravestone for one family, 3 Williams and 3 Lillians all died in infancy.
                      Very few of my ancestors were able to afford grave stones. my 3xgrt grandparents both died from TB in their 30s, the eldest children were sent to the work house when their mother was too sick to cope, one of them died there also from TB, and I recently found that their grandfather was also in the same workhouse in his 70s , a pauper. The youngest daughter was adopted by her aunt and the baby Wiliam was 'fostered' 17 years later William is in Norwich gaol!

                      There are very sad stories on every branch of my tree, and I do sometimes shead a tear, the hardest one for me to get my head round is my grt grandmothers suicide

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                      • #31
                        Hi All
                        Luckily my sons are young and find it fascinating when I tell them about their ancestors. The 7yr old loves to see the photos and often asks about "the family in the olden days!"

                        I recently found out my grt grandad lost his first daughter at 3yrs. The death cert was on his war records. It stated he was present at the death dispite being in the army.The day after he wrote direct to the regiment paymaster dispite being told not to and ended up being charged and confined to barracks for 5 days. It made me feel very sad to think of what he'd been though.

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                        • #32
                          Originally posted by Vicky the Viking View Post
                          However, I do wonder whether some of them might actually have been written posthumously

                          I have one widow who died (1873, aged 69) of "apoplexy" within days of writing her Will. Did she have a sudden premonition I wonder?
                          Some wills & testaments were what is called Nuncuputive (i.e. declared orally by the testator and later written down).
                          Cheers
                          Guy
                          Guy passed away October 2022

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                          • #33
                            hmmm... I wonder if she was sufficiently compos mentis to even think about her Will, if the stroke was so severe it killed her. "Apoplexy" suggests to me that it was a severe stroke that killed fairly quickly, not something that left her insensible & paralysed for a couple of weeks.

                            The Will is signed, judging by the signature I'd say by someone quite elderly & infirm. However, I suspect what was actually written down may have been a bit of wishful thinking by one of her children. And a bit of collusion in pre-dating it.
                            Vicky

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