What Makes You Feel Connected?

[Paulc]

This question has been nagging at me for a while now, 'what makes us feel connected'? The answer will be different for all of us, is it a sense of finding out who you are by connecting with your ancestors? Is it about joining a wider community and sharing experiences and stories, what makes us strive for these connections, do we want to be part of something bigger?

Love to hear your thoughts.

https://chiddicksfamilytree.com/2021/10/01/feeling-connected/

[JaneC]

I can totally relate to what your blog post is talking about Paul; all of it but, as an adoptee, I particularly noted your statement: "How can I possibly know who I am, if I don’t know where I came from?".

What prompted me to get into family history research in the first place was the need to find my biological connections ... both living relatives and ancestral heritage. That was ultimately about finding self; connecting myself to who I am.

Interestingly, it wasn't until I had done that and started to investigate the stories of my biological ancestors that I felt a need to also research my adoptive tree; albeit in a more limited way. That is about connecting to the family I knew growing up.

I have also taken a keen interest in my husband's family tree and have pondered on why I have been so drawn to his ancestor's stories. I think that is about providing my children with connections to who they are.

[Paulc]

I definitely agree with you Jane, we all come to family history research from a variety of different places, no two stories are the same and although I have no experience of being an adoptee, I can fully understand the need to know where you came from.

Without going into all the details, I did a DNA test a while back and discovered a fairly close NPE on my tree, so rather than see the negative in that, I think of it that i now have 5 grandparents instead of 4 and I have a whole new family line to explore. Not everyone will see it from that perspective of course.

[Janet in Yorkshire]

When I was young, my best friend's mother was the church cleaner and so when she was cleaning the church, we used to go with her and play amongst the gravestones surrounding the building. We got to know all the residents and who was related to whom. We lived in a small village where everyone knew all about the lives of other residents and when my grandmother went visiting other old ladies, she took me with her. I had a book with me and pretended to sit quietly in the corner reading, whilst the ladies gossiped about villagers past and present and what tales they had to tell. I was brought up on stories of the exploits of village characters past and present, but it was laughing kindly WITH the characters, none of it was laughing maliciously AT the people. My grandmother had come to the village c1902, but her father had been born and brought up here. My grandfather had been born in the village and his father before him, in 1846, so I had lots of extended family members living nearby and gradually learned who begat who and all the inter-connections between various village families. At first it seemed a bit "odd" hearing what mischievous deeds some of the "old" folks had done when younger(!) but helped me to understand that everybody starts off as an infant before passing through the seven ages of man.
I was once accused of being a saddo, having more interest in my "dead people" than the living. I just said "your probably right; dead people can't do or say anything to hurt us, everyone was once important to someone else and IMO no-one's really "dead" until there is no-one left to recall them." Living in a small place, there are always opportunities for joining up dots and unearthing new connections.
Years ago, pre-internet, holidays or weekends were planned so I could visit various county record offices and locations, allowing me to walk in the footsteps of those who'd gone before.

[Paulc]

Thanks for sharing that wonderful story Janet, life always seems idyllic when you reminisce and look back like that. Will our grandchildren have similar stories to tell? Probably not, sadly. The street that I grew up on, like a lot of streets from my generation, was a street where everyone knew everyone and we all had the time to stop and talk and ask how each other was etc, sadly nobody seems to have enough time these days and even sadder if I returned to the same street now, I doubt I could name a single soul. That's progress I guess!