Help to find a death please

[Heather Positive Thinker]

This is a bit delicate but I know a relative of mine was "married" 3 times. He must have divorced his first wife, I have the marriage for that, I cant find a marriage for his second wife - and there was a family rumour of them being unmarried - she died about 1992/3/4 and then he remarried in 1995, which I have found.

Point is, the second wife - I cant find her death so I am guessing the cert was not in her "married" name. So I cant find a marriage and think there couldnt have been one, I cant find a death because I assume her previous name was used - even though they had been together more than 30 years - they had no children so there isnt a birth to find in the "married" name. However, there was a child which was unofficially adopted apparently and I know his first name and rough year of birth.

Using what little I have, I have tried looking for this lady (who I was extremely fond of) because I want her on my tree. I have tried using her first name and no surname plus county and rough date for a death but no luck - it may well be the name used is a nickname or derivative, Ive tried looking for the birth of her child using just a first name, rough date and area, but again, zilcho.

Anyone any more ideas please? I remember long ago before my family history days, my dad saying she had a large family of brothers in London and he probably even said the name, but of course, he isnt here now to ask and no living relative that I can ask has any idea either.

[Elaine ..Spain]

Do you know her birth date - if so you can use that to search the death index.

[margaretmarch]

I would have thought though that if she was known by her 'husband's' name up to death that she would be registered in that name as no proof of marriage would have been required and it would have been odd otherwise as she would have been under the doctor as Mrs??? so how would that match the death cert and registration - unless of course for officialdom she retained her single name all along.

Margaret

[Chrissie Smiff]

I agree with Margaret, I would have expected the death to be in her 'partners' surname. Are you sure that the first name that you knew her by was her actual birth name Heather? Have you tried looking just for the surname and a death in the right area and about the right time?

[Gwyn in Kent]

Do you know where they lived, so that you could check E.Rs for her registered name?

[Heather Positive Thinker]

Hi, thanks for the ideas. Thing is Ive forgotten her birthdate :( No one else, apart from sis, who also cant remember. I did wonder if the name we knew her by was a nickname as its so common in our extended family for people to have nick names that are completely different to their real names. I did try using the surname only in the area but nothing that seemed likely came up.

Gwyn, thats a good idea. Ill have a go for that - will they be online that long back though.

Ohh, hang on a sec, Ive just found a death, rightish year (as I remember) and whilst not in the district she lived in, not that far - I remember she was in a hospice for the last 6 months, may be this could be it. On top of that, the death appears to be registered twice! Once giving her name as that I knew her in and then again with another (French!) surname first hyphenated with the our family name. Surely, this must be a good bet. Just thought, next thing is to see if I can find the child born with a mother having this very usual french surname. Will report back.

Blow it, no sign of the birth of the child. But, if he were adopted officially by my rellie, may be he wouldnt come up in births

OH NO, how disappointing, searched marriages and find her marrying another man, same surname as my rellie. How much of a coincidence can that be :(

[Chrissie Smiff]

Oh dear Heather - I really thought you had cracked it until I got to the end:(

[Heather Positive Thinker]

Yeah, me too Chrissie. Rightish age, place, date and name! And the fact it was registered in two different names, I thought it was sorted :( Cant understand it, no sign otherwise of anything remotely right

[Chrissie Smiff]

I should tell you that I had added that if you would like another pair of eyes to have a look just say. Then I remembered that I am off on holiday tomorrow, so thought I had better emove it in case I didn't get time. Sorry.
p.s. If you still haven't found anything by next Sunday though I would be happy to have a look.

[Gwyn in Kent]

Do the registrations have the same index numbers?
OH's grandfather married for a 2nd time and we sent for his widow's death certificate.
I was really surprised when it came back issued with a different surname, although it was the correct person.....she had remarried, but on the certificate there was a space for recording any other name she had had and thankfully the informant had known her earlier married name, it had been noted and the index showed her under both surnames.

Gwyn

[Heather Positive Thinker]

Gwyn, the name is so very unusual - the french one and the two first names so its definitely her marrying the other chap unfortunately.

Chris, yes, I will give you the details please when you get back, as sometimes I cant see the wood for the trees

[Chrissie Smiff]

Can you send it to me please Heather, anytime during the week, as I would hate to forget when I come back

[margaretmarch]

Gwyn, the name is so very unusual - the french one and the two first names so its definitely her marrying the other chap unfortunately.

Chris, yes, I will give you the details please when you get back, as sometimes I cant see the wood for the trees

Could your male relative have had different first name(s) than those you knew him by - just thinking back to the nick name reference you made.

Margaret

[Heather Positive Thinker]

No, definitely - have his birth record.

[Mary from Italy]

Do you remember the address where they lived? If so, electoral rolls will be your best bet, as Gwyn said.

I don't think there are many online apart from London, but if you know the exact address, e-mail the library for that place, and with a bit of luck they'll do a look-up for you.

[Heather Positive Thinker]

Just to publicly thank Chrissie for finding not only the death (yes, it was a nickname) but also previous marriage and very likely the son's birth. Brilliant work, thanks so very very much. Now I can add her to my tree which I really wanted to do as she was a brilliant auntie, particularly when I was a kiddie and when we first got married. Nothing was too much for her and she is much missed. So grateful Chrissie (is that your real name, lol?) xxxx

[Chrissie Smiff]

You are very welcome Heather - I enjoyed the search
So grateful Chrissie (is that your real name, lol?) No of course not;) - my surname is really Smiff though