Is it me........or them!!!!

[Loopy Linda in La La Land]

Over a month ago I had a very 'excited' message through Ancestry saying that 'they' thought we were related.

I confirmed that my Gran and her Grandad were brother and sister, very exciting to me as well. She had some photos on her tree, one of Gran's brother included. Whom I had never seen.

Since then..........................nothing. I log on to Ancestry everyday to check for messages and she seems to log on most days so presumably has seen my message. On the email I sent back to her I even included my email address in case she would have rather used that.


I wonder why people do this? She contacted me and has her tree on Ancestry.

Can't understand it at all, especially with being such a close relative.

Ah well as they say. 'There's nowt as strange as folk' but I'm very disappointed.

Linda

[herky]

Similar things have happened to me - I make contact - they reply saying they are delighted and can't wait to share info - then nothing.
Very frustrating.

In your case however, with it being such a close relative, I wonder if there is a reason for them not to be in touch. Perhaps a family secret that they have suddenly remembered or another member of the family saying that they want their business kept private. Just my imagination doing overtime.
Perhaps it would be best to leave it a few weeks (so they don't feel rushed etc) and then contact again, perhaps assuming they have been on holiday etc.
I hope you do manage to make contact again with this close relative and see the photo of your great uncle.
Good luck.

[Olde Crone Holden]

Oooh, I agree with Herky. I think some people put up a tree without REALLY thinking the consequences through. You've contacted her, she's excitedly told a member of her family and they have said sourly "Well, make sure don't you tell her about Uncle Bert, we don't want all and sundry knowing about that. And don't tell her your Dad won the Pools 20 years ago or she'll want some of that too".

It's so annoying and upsetting. The reason is though - they have had second thoughts, for whatever reason.

OC

[Loopy Linda in La La Land]

Lol.......just what I was thinking. Although I have uncovered some pretty dodgy things myself......so maybe know more than them anyway.

Uncle (90) has been amazed by some of the things I've uncovered especially about his Grandad. When I got his Grandad's death certificate I asked him if he knew why he had died in an address in the next street to where all the family were still living together. He said 'Oh I think he had a fancy woman and he lived with her' When I told him that Grandad, at 72, had married the 'fancy woman' about 2 months after Grandma died, his face was a picture. He had only been about 4 at the time so wouldn't have actually known anything, probably only what he learned as time went on. He loves a bit of scandal does my Uncle.

I talked to my Mum and Gran (his Mum) a lot about the family and I'm certain they didn't know either. Uncle said the family were quite well off and had always wondered where all the money went...the 'fancy woman' springs to mind..lol

I shall wait in anticipation.....it may be some time!!!


Linda

[Guest]

that is so frustrating happens to me a lot I used to freely send photos and stuff with the promise of getting stuff back but never heard from them again, so dont send more than more one Photo now, wait and see if they come back to me .

[Nelde]

I wonder if it is a case where she thought she had answered but forgot to hit the send button and is waiting to hear from you. Or her message got lost or even your message to her got lost. Or she is on vacation and away from her computer. Or her computer crashed and she is sorting it out. Or some other strange reason other than those mentioned above. Sometimes life gets in the way of computer hobbies. After a suitable passage of time I would send her another note.

[Loopy Linda in La La Land]

Hi,

I see that she looks on Ancestry nearly every day.

I'll give it another couple weeks as suggested and then may repeat my message.

I really hope I get some interest...I was so excited

Linda

[dicole]

Yes, I have had three emails recently asking about different people in my tree !

I answered each one with a positive to exchanging info, particularly in one case where I would like some extra info on the children of a second marriage, but silence after my reply ! I love finding relatives and wonder what they expected.

After sending joyous replies full of information, only not hear another word (did I overwhelm them with too much Z?) or to see my tree migrated wholesale to ancestry, mistakes and all, I am a lot more cautious now - however, looking at ancestry trees now, I can easily tell who just copied my tree, and has not corrected or added any information since.

Going back over my ancestry tree to add the 1911 or Australian Electoral Rolls, I can see that in many cases, it is obvious that no-one is actively adding to any of the people I am researching. Its quite strange, that I could make the connections but few others have bothered with basic research. In a way I am disappointed, but I also hug the secrets to myself, I am NOT going to tell them.

Di

[Nightryder]

The exact thing has happened to me a few times, you get a new contact & messages & emails go back & forth & then suddenly nothing.......I wonder if after the initial excitement people just cant be bothered.
Jenn

[kylejustin]

i think it's more that they get what they want from you, or think they have all they can get out of you. i've had contacts who take the info i give them and then don't reply afterwards. oh the tree goes back to 1600!! wonderful! now let's cut and paste on a public tree, so now there are 10 trees out there with all my work, and my grandmother's work, and they never checked the research, or asked how i fitted in.....i tend to agree with val, it is really sad, but sharing everything isn't the way to go. photos are precious, and i love seeing them, but i don't want people not directly related having everything in my grandparents photo collection. contacts that share back are the ones i love, but they are usually my grandparents first cousins. and they have the same photos and new stories too!

[PhotoFamily]

Sharing is difficult. I've become increasingly unwilling to share, but I have benefited tremendously from some things that have been shared with me. It's a difficult path to find and follow.

[Anne in Carlisle]

I would definitely follow it up in case a message has gone astray. No harm done in a little bit of nagging!

Anne