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So frustrating why is member on Ancestry fibbing ?

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  • So frustrating why is member on Ancestry fibbing ?

    I have a man in my Tree and the only other person with him in theirs is on Ancestry ,yet when I contacted him a few months ago ( and I always say who I am talking about and Birth date) he said had I made a mistake as he wasn't in his Tree ??? I contacted him again and said he is and since have had no answer.
    I dont understand people like this as I have more info than him on the persons wife and the family he married into ? I only want one name from him if he has it ?
    What reason would you have for saying a person wasn't in your tree if he was?

  • #2
    Name collector?

    So when he looked back at his tree he couldn't work out who you were asking about.

    I assume you gave exactly the same info as he said he had.

    I had a similar experience where I gave the exact baptism details which were a year out from his 'known' info so I was 'rejected'.

    His loss! ;D

    Chris
    Avatar....My darling mum, Irene June Robinson nee Pearson 1931-2019.

    'Take nothing on its looks, take everything on evidence. There is no better rule' Charles Dickens, Great Expectations.

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    • #3
      there is a tree on Ancestry which I looked at and they have the person I am researching married to the wrong man...... I know my info is right because I have the womans will and she names her brothers as executors and trustees.

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      • #4
        Hi Chris I dont think so he only has a very small tree with this name in ? he seems to be researching 3 surnames, and I always make sure I put the name and date and area so all he had to do was look for that name in his tree even if he didn't remember it ,as I dont remember all of mine and thats what I have to do.
        Janet I used to contact people like that but dont bother now since I had a bigamist who had the same man in his tree and when I contacted him what do you think he said ?
        Thanks for that I have only just started doing my tree and you have to tell me he was a bigamist ?? he was furious and never got back to me.

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        • #5
          Originally posted by Val wish Id never started View Post
          Janet I used to contact people like that but dont bother now since I had a bigamist who had the same man in his tree and when I contacted him what do you think he said ?
          Thanks for that I have only just started doing my tree and you have to tell me he was a bigamist ?? he was furious and never got back to me.
          I think I would have been tempted to message him again Val and say something on the lines of - if a bigamist worries you so much I would stop now before you find the ones in the workhouse and the father who has deserted them
          Chrissie passed away in January 2020.

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          • #6
            I contacted three people with what seemed like common ancestors but not a word from any of them which is disappointing. When you look closer there isn't much on their trees and I would have thought they would want to share information. Why put a public tree on ancestry if not to make contact?

            I wouldn't have been upset for any information you have Val it's stories like bigamy etc that make matters more interesting it would be a bit dull if no one divorced, committed a crime, ran away etc!!!!! Maybe that's just me

            Steven

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            • #7
              No Steven, it isn't just you. I was thrilled to bits when I found out about two murders even though they were only a small side twig.
              You would also think that anyone new to it would be delighted for any help or clues to start them off. I know I would have been. I wish this site had been around in those days too. I bet it wouldn't have taken me anything like the 6 months that it took me to find my gran's birth, just because there was one letter missing from her surname:DOh well, we live and learn.
              Last edited by Chrissie Smiff; 24-04-12, 20:33.
              Chrissie passed away in January 2020.

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              • #8
                Hi Chrissie I was a bit wary at first but after some encouragement from the FTF members I have met two fanastic people in Amanada and Ann through public trees and no stopping me now but a bit disappointed in the lack of contact from the last couple of people I messaged. I don't want to pester or annoy folk or turn up at someone's door, I simply want to share information

                Steven

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                • #9
                  You will be lucky to get a reply from everyone you contact Steven, though I have to say that I haven't had many not get back to me - even if it's only to tell me that it's a different Fred Bloggs. Sometimes I think it's because they start a tree with enthusiasm and then lose interest and don't go back to the site again. It's always worth trying once more though after a suitable interval. I once got a reply a full year after a message I sent on GR
                  Chrissie passed away in January 2020.

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                  • #10
                    I love it more when I find criminals in my tree as you say it all adds interest to it , I think a lot of people feel guilty themselves ?? dont know why its not our fault is it ? and dont want to disappoint you Steve but I got a reply on GR after 3 years ? in fact I had to ask what she was replying to ?
                    I do think a lot of people start their tree then realise it isn't cheap so they stop .

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                    • #11
                      I contacted a lady in 2010 who had left a message on ancestry boards in 1999! She wasn't half surprised to hear from me, lol. (And yes, we are related and exchanged lots of info)

                      I think that some people put up public trees, then discover they've gone madly wrong and go off in a sulk. They don't delete the tree though, for some reason.

                      OC

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                      • #12
                        Well I wish they would delete their tree its so tantalising, to be so near yet so far, that must be some kind of record OC ?

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                        • #13
                          i've been looking into a family from romford in essex, and when i put in my tree, it came up with matches for all them in one other tree. so i took a look and all the kids are in there, with their christening dates, but most have no parents, no spouses and no kids. what's more intriguing this woman has their father coming from scotland and the name of his sister, once again no parents. i messaged her to talk of the family, twice, both times i ask her why she thinks their scottish, and she doesn't reply?? obviously the tree is not the best, but why not say why you have them from scotland, when local books say this family is mentioned in records since the 13th century in romford?

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                          • #14
                            silly isn't it Kyle as you could help with her tree , I wil never understand why people are like that

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                            • #15
                              yes i agree val. i reckon a lot are name collectors, or trying to sort out a family before putting it in ink, but the behaviour reminds me of the american pickers tv show, 'a breed on ther own' lol.

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                              • #16
                                I frequently contact other Ancestry members with common branches or twigs and almost all have responded, one after ten months. Very rarely am I ignored, and I've had so much success that I'll continue. In this way I've virtually met two new cousins I didn't know existed, and have shared considerable info back & forth with many others. I've also met in person another cousin I didn't know existed who, as it turned out, lived close to me & had genealogy as her hobby. I was surprised when she told me many genealogists do not like to share their data and are very possessive of it. I just didn't understand; why wouldn't you share for the common benefit? Now she doesn't respond to my messages--one sharing recent family BMD, and another asking a simple question of her. It's not like I'm pestering her with questions, but no response, not even a thanks for the recent birth & death data although I see she added the dates to her tree. I just don't understand!

                                Of course, those of us who haunt forums such as this probably aren't the possessive, non-sharing type of folks.

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                                • #17
                                  i agree with the possessiveness, it is common, but i do see a point in behaving that way. if you've put in the effort to do your tree properly, and find the information no one has, putting it in your tree, do you really want someone just 'discovering' your info and blatantly cutting and pasting without contacting you?

                                  i had a public tree on ancestry, but when looking at other trees, they all copied exactly what i had, even photo's i put up. never asked me where i got the info, what my links were, or even messaging me to swap notes. so i made it private. i'm still a little reluctant to share information, especially the person acts a little weird about it. but mostly if someone has given me information and they don't have it anywhere public, it feels like stealing and replicating someone elses hard work!

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                                  • #18
                                    I'm not as keen to share information as I used to be, either.

                                    Firstly, I want to know how you have researched and reached our common ancestor. Have you got BMDs etc or have you just copied the info from another tree on the internet? How serious and committed are you to your research? Is this a passing interest - if so, I probably won't make the effort to send you copies of my nearly 40 years of research, just so you can put it in a drawer and forget about it, or pass it on to someone who hasn't done their own tree properly.....

                                    I have just had a contact who has looked at my public TP tree. On my home page I state that this is a hobby tree and I would welcome any input. Contact gave me chapter and verse about her relatives....everything she told me is already on the tree and she says "Is any of this familiar?". Well, um, yes it is, you just copied it from my tree INCLUDING a typo!

                                    I made my own family tree private after I nearly burst a blood vessel trying to tell people that Mary Trafford died aged 4 in the 1700s and couldn't therefore possibly be their umpty-times grandmother. One cheeky contact told me I was wrong because "nine other people have the information in their trees and they can't all be wrong". I challenged him to show me the marriage of this four year old...funny thing, no one can find it but they all KNOW it was her. I can't be doing with such stupid "research" - there's no research involved, just blind copying and I'm not interested in furthering that activity.

                                    OC

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                                    • #19
                                      I used to be too free with letting people have my info am much more cagey now though, hate the people that contact you promising all sorts then after you let them have a photo or whatever you never hear from them again .
                                      My tree is private now its a shame though as I do think it puts people off contacting you .

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                                      • #20
                                        So, I'm hearing a number of you who have been at this a long time have been burnt; once bitten, twice shy. I can see that, and can't blame those who feel that way. I have certainly encountered the name collectors on Ancestry. You can always spot those trees--no citations or verification, and I tend to avoid them too. Really though, it's their hobby, accurate or not; the only question is if you wish to share your time & effort with them.

                                        Hey, I like to have lots of names too--but all very well documented, verified, and personalized as much as I possibly can. I also have some likely ancestors in my tree with a comment clearly indicating further research and verification is required. Now that I'm retired I do have a lot of time to devote to genealogy, and I try to be as accurate as possible given that I am relatively new to it and having no formal training. Maybe I like the idea of sharing because I really have no descendants to benefit from my work. Maybe that's why I'm fine with sharing my hard-researched data with strangers.

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