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**Olde Crone Holden** · 09-11-11, 09:35

No you are doing nothing illegal at all. anyone can research anyone else's family, the records are in the public domain.

Ask her under what law she is taking you to court! Also - why??? What doesn't she want you to know?

OC

**FamilyHistoryStories** · 09-11-11, 10:26

Originally posted by Olde Crone Holden View Post

No you are doing nothing illegal at all. anyone can research anyone else's family, the records are in the public domain.

Ask her under what law she is taking you to court! Also - why??? What doesn't she want you to know?

OC

Thank you for echoing my thoughts. I would have imagined that if it was illegal then you wouldn't be able to order certificates with no id.... ;)

I would LOVE to know what she doesn't want me to know. It will make the research all the more exciting don't you think? It's something me and Mum (another keen researcher) have been mithering over this morning. Perhaps the claim that she's related to someone famous will be proved to be false.

**herky** · 09-11-11, 10:27

I have to agree with OC - it sounds like she has possibly something in her past which she doesn't want her son to find out about.

It is a tricky situation and one which perhaps should be treated sensitively. Although the legal side appears not to be a problem, I think you and your partner need to have a serious talk about researching on his mother's family as it could have implications for their relationship.
She sounds quite panicked, from your mail, and is lashing out at you to divert you from continuing.

From my own personal experience, I know that it nearly impossible to do a tree without discovering quite a few family skeletons. It is interesting when it concerns folk in the 1800's but perhaps if they concerned those we love then we would feel differently.

She could also just be using your favourite hobby to get at you during the argument. Have you talked about it since the argument?

However, perhaps she is just a very private person and doesn't want her family researched!

Hmmm - complicated, you need to talk it out!

**Olde Crone Holden** · 09-11-11, 10:40

Oh, I dare say it will turn out that someone is illegitimate - it's usually that and althoiugh we think nothing of it these days, for some older people the scar is a deep one.

Personally, I wouldn't give her the satisfaction of an argument. Just do the research and keep quiet about it, or if that makes you feel uncomfortable, just say "well I'm going to do it anyway but I won't bother you with my findings". It certainly isn't worth a family falling out.

OC

**FamilyHistoryStories** · 09-11-11, 10:53

I agree, it'll be treated sensitively... and kind of secretly... My partner is more than happy to go ahead..

The argument was not about family history to start with and she did use it to 'get at me'.

I personally think the skeletons make the research... Like when I found out my grandmother was previously married, my great grandmother was already pregnant when she got married, my 3x great grandmother was a bigamist etc etc

**Anne in Carlisle** · 09-11-11, 11:31

It is, after all, your partner's own family just as much as it is his mother's!! You should get on and do the research and (as OC says) just keep quiet about it.

Anne

**Darksecretz** · 09-11-11, 11:37

Originally posted by Anne in Carlisle View Post

It is, after all, your partner's own family just as much as it is his mother's!! You should get on and do the research and (as OC says) just keep quiet about it.

Anne

ditto, that's what I'd do if it were my family

**Vivienne** · 09-11-11, 12:09

Silly woman, any of us here could research the family if we had a mind to! ;)

I have a cousin like that & the rest of us just think she is funny! I did find out one sensitive thing about her though that I kept quiet about until her son asked me what I knew because he suspected that his parents were not married until after he was born.

At his Ruby Wedding next month it will be the first time I have seen his Mum since, should be interesting.
The last time I heard from her she posted on my family group on FB, "mind your own business". :D

**kylejustin** · 09-11-11, 12:21

haha, i'd tell her to jump! especially if you have children, they have a right to know what is in their tree, even if they only have a passing interest!

i myself asked my grandmother about my grandfather, whom she separated from less than a decade after marriage. he died when my father was 6, and grandma remarried. when she found out i'd seen grandfather's brother, she and my aunt were furious, and told me i had no right to see him, and i had no rights at all to delve into grandfather's family. though it's perfectly alright to sit with grandma and do her tree! but she wasn't worried about what was in grandfather's tree, she was worried about what his brother and his wife (who is grandma's step daughter) would say about her!

i told her they didn't tell me anything i didn't already know, and that it was none of her business telling me what part of my heritage i was allowed to know about.

**margaretmarch** · 09-11-11, 12:41

Once records are in the public domain then no one can stop you researching a tree - in fact we do it all the time on here when we are helping others. I understand though some people like the past to be just that and for it not to be referred to for whatever reason but they have to accept that others are not like that and are free to do what they please.
Margaret

**FamilyHistoryStories** · 09-11-11, 13:11

Thank you everyone.

It's rather strange because she was always quite happy to tell us about her mother, father and other things.. (A few 'scandals' there)...

As of today, I'll be having no contact with her anyway as we had quite the argument this morning and it wasn't family history related, my hobby was simply used as a pawn in her game as are my children it would seem.

I'm happy that there are no legal implications of us continuing his family tree and we will just carry on as normal.

**Guy** · 09-11-11, 14:28

I can assure you it is perfectly legal to research any persons family tree in the UK, you do not even have to be related to them.
Further more it is legal to upload any information you have found to your personal family history website (the Information Commissioner made a statement on this a few years ago) though it would not be legal to publish them on a commercial site.

Not only is it legal to research family history the law encourages it by making all marriages in the UK public (i.e. any marriage held behind closed doors is void).
It is also enshrined in law that every person is entitled to search for and purchase a copy of every BMD certificate (England & Wales).

In addition to being enshrined in UK law such research is also enshrined in that monumental contradictory law-
The European Convention on Human Rights
Article 10-
“Everyone has the right to freedom of expression. this right shall include freedom to hold opinions and to receive and impart information and ideas without interference by public authority and regardless of frontiers.” ;)

I should however point out that many of our records are not in the public domain (unlike countries such as the USA).
The public have access to them but they are not in the public domain and in fact many are copyright records.
Cheers
Guy

**Christine in Herts** · 09-11-11, 15:36

I should however point out that many of our records are not in the public domain (unlike countries such as the USA).
The public have access to them but they are not in the public domain and in fact many are copyright records.

Guy, you always have useful info to share. And that particular point seems to be a very common area of misunderstanding!

Christine

**clematised** · 09-11-11, 15:42

Thanks Guy for your valuable information

I had the same problem with my sister years ago as she has skeletons to hide too and gave me many a tongue lashing about doing the research but once I explained that I would be only adding data from years ago then it was ok with her, but I did make the mistake of asking all the family for all the birthdates ect in the beginning.

I agree just keep it from her as she will not find out unless you all tell her so tell her you have given up the hobby to keep the peace.

Edna

**Elaine ..Spain** · 09-11-11, 15:53

Originally posted by clematised View Post

... tell her you have given up the hobby to keep the peace.

.. don't think she will believe that one - looks as if Beth has a somewhat active website!!

**FamilyHistoryStories** · 09-11-11, 18:58

I do indeed have a somewhat active blog... But keep living people's names, ages, dates of birth and areas out of it... I enjoy blogging, have been blogging for well over 3 years now in various areas..

I have picked up my family research again recently because I've discovered a little new information.

It's also not as if I'm going to name (and possibly shame) her because I don't want my littlies bandied around with details of my family history. She actually accused me of gossiping which I guess relates to a particular post on my blog. However, what I wrote is fact and I clearly wrote of my assumptions and possible scenarios... but also pointed out that I do not know the truth...

However, Guy, your information is invaluable... Thank you ever so much.. The question has been burning since this morning and your answer has allowed me to feel a little more comfortable about carrying out my partner's family history research. :D

**Christine in Herts** · 09-11-11, 19:01

"Gossip" is in the ear/eye of the hearer/beholder. For her, it probably simply means that you have reported information that she was hoping wouldn't be reported. Truth/falsehood does not enter into the reaction, I'd guess.

Christine

**frostbarter** · 09-11-11, 19:56

It can be difficult, when I did my husband's side of the tree, I found out that the woman he thought was his grandmother for many years wasn't. It took me a little while to tell him. His mother had argued with the rest of the family for years saying that she had a different mother to the rest of them but they all laughed at her, but she was right. So it can be quite delicate.

Barbara

**FamilyHistoryStories** · 10-11-11, 19:01

Indeed, everyone has a different view of what is gossip and what isn't. I don't really consider reporting family history as gossiping also.

It's crazy the things that you discover isn't it, Barbara?

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