Problem

[Gwen@coggiecorner]

My daughter has asked me if I could trace someone who is living but lives in Puerto Rico. I dont have all the details yet and I would not post it on here for obvious reasons and I am not sure how easy this would be to track him! The man is her friends boyfriend Dad. He was here in England when he was in the services and as usual Mum had a relationship with him and they had a child. Mum found out by accident that he was already married and had children. He carried around a picture of children which he quite openly at first said they were his nieces and nephews and as he was so open about it they belived him, but turned out to be his children. Dad went off for another tour of duty said goodbye to both his partner and son and they never saw him again. They think he went back to Puerto Rico to join his wife and family but they are not sure. The son remembers his Dad but would like to find his half siblings. What would you suggest my first reaction to my daughter was to tell him to leave it he knows who his father is and his Dad's family may not know about him and what a hornets nest he would turn up.
I am not sure where to start on this one any comments or help would be appreciated.
Will be back later hubby is calling for help with the decorating!!!!

[JulesSmith]

A hornet's nest indeed. I can't blame the lad though for wanting to trace his family, and he has every right doesn't he? Wish I could point you in the right direction with tracing him. Is there an embassy here?

[Christine in Herts]

It's certainly a potential hornets nest.

He has some justice on his side in wanting to contact his father, but if he's wanting to make friends with half-siblings he's going to have to be extremely tactful about how he goes about making contact (if the opportunity arises). If he blithely introduces himself as a half-brother, they might be too offended by the idea to want to be contacted. A lot depends on what they know about their father already, of course: they might be resigned to more half-siblings turning up from lots of places. They might also think that there's an ulterior motive, if they have any wealth.

There's a lot to consider before going ahead.

I have similar things to think about if ever I find that I have half-cousins in the USA. The person I refer to as Errant Grandfather might be an upright beloved respectable person in their perception, and they might not welcome any alternative view being forced on them. I have no reason to suppose he made pots of money, but if he did, they might think I was after it!

Christine

[Gwen@coggiecorner]

I am a bit confused because he said his Dad was in the RAF if that is the case he must have lived here to be able to join. He is to young to have been in the war and cannot work out why he was here. I surpose I will have to wait until he gives me all the details but I think he will be very hard to trace and told my daughter to tell him not to get his hopes up. If dad went and left him and never contacted him again I am not sure why he thinks he is worth finding.

[Uncle John]

My only similar situation relates to a "fling" more than 100 years ago, so the "half" family in NZ were quite excited to have more background information. This one has the potential to wreck any number of lives.

[It_Is_I_Leclerc]

It is a hornets nest, best to walk away and make the BIG decision

Is it going to be Silk or Matt finish for the emulsion

L

[Christine in Herts]

I am a bit confused because he said his Dad was in the RAF if that is the case he must have lived here to be able to join. He is to young to have been in the war and cannot work out why he was here. ...

What about USAF?

Christine