Well Army confirmed I am not my Fathers Daughter !!!

[Guest]

After receiving my Fathers ???? Army records which seemed to prove he was out of the country when I was conceived I rang them , they very kindly went through other records for him like medical stuff and today informed me he was definitely not here when I was conceived ???????????? But in North Africa
!!!
Three people checked them.
I thought I'd try and see if the place I was born has any other details I dont know about ?? and then its down to DNA for me and my sister.
So be careful when you send for things you may have a shock !!!!!!

[kelly smith]

Val I'm not quite sure what to say, How are you feeling? have you spoken with your sister? x

[Guest]

I feel very confused actually ,although when I was young he often said I wasnt his !!! I never really believed him as he was a nasty man .
My Sister laughed and said I shant speak to you again then as your not my sister !! she then said it made no difference to her at all as far as she was concerned we are sisters.
And she agreed to the DNA testing.
Which I'm hoping not to have to do, if I can find out more before then.

[kelly smith]

I suppose thats one good thing if you didn't particulally get on its not as much as a loss as it would have been if he was the perfect father, Im glad it sounds like you have a very understanding and supportive sister and you know we are all here for you.x

[JBee]

Don't know what to say really - just so sorry - its similiar to a child finding out they're adopted and aren't who they thought they were.

It's still a shock finding out the truth - even though you say your father always said you weren't his. Although he wasn't your naturual father he did stay when many others back from the war didn't. It must have been really hard for him too your presence being a constant reminder of what had happened.

Now you have the problem of trying to find out who he is. Is there anyone you could ask, any papers, christening perhaps. Who would you test your DNA with?

[Guest]

I am intrigued and confused more than upset at the moment , maybe that will change I dont know .
I am certainly going to investigate my birth more and then DNA.
I wonder how many others have found out the same way ???
I would have loved to see his medical records but she said they were not allowed to let anybody see them ?? Do you think that will change after the 100 years closure thing ???

[Olde Crone Holden]

Val

You and your sister have the same mother, right? So you are uterine sisters and that bond is supposed to be stronger than having the same father but different mothers.


Can I ask why you are going to bother with DNA? You already know you have the same mother but different fathers. Did your mum never mention it?

Sorry you are in shock, but I suspect you already had an inkling of the truth. At least you know that nasty man wasn't your father and perhaps that explains a lot of why he was nasty to you. Not that it excuses his behaviour to you.

OC

[Margaret in Burton]

Crikey Val, I'm not sure what to say.

Just told OH and as he says, it must have happened a lot during the war, but its still a shock.

Are there any ways of finding out who your father was? Also, what does this do to your research?

Hope that doesn't sound too clinical, its not meant to be.

[Elaine ..Spain]

A tough way to find out Val, although from what you say you did suspect it might be the case.
Do hope you can find out more.

[Merry Monty Montgomery]

I know you thought this might be the case before, but it must be a shock finding out more in this way.

I don't know how else to say this, so I'll just say it anyway.....is your sister sure of her paternity?

[Guest]

OC I was hoping it could prove if we have the same Father ?? is that not the case ???
Margaret I was thinking that too are my aunts and uncles really mine ????
Yes Elaine I did get told that years ago but you dont really believe it do you ??
And Merry I thought that too !!! am busy checking the records again LOL

[Margaret in Burton]

Val

You know when your "dad" told you that you weren't his, what was your mums reaction?

Tell me to bog off if I'm probing too much

[Guest]

Its hard to explain Margaret he used to beat her and kick her she was very submissive to him.
He sort of used it as an aside if you know what I mean, he had this way of ruining everything .

[Margaret in Burton]

Val

I'm way out of my depth here. You need to talk to someone who has experience of similar.

Sorry

[Olde Crone Holden]

Oh, GOD - this is such a familiar story. I know of several people who had terrible childhoods because they weren't their father's child.

Although the father did a "good thing" by taking on his wife's child, he did a bad thing by not doing it with a good grace. Still, I suppose at the time he agreed to do it, he didn't know it would rankle down the years.

Yes, DNA will tell you if you have the same father...but what will THAT tell you. Does you father have any living known relatives - brother, sister etc, who could be used as a control?

So sorry you have this mess to deal with, Val.

OC

[Guest]

Well found this on googling its where I was a born

The Alexandra Home, Hospital Road, Bury St Edmunds

(Quote) Can anyone tell me anything about this home? My family and I have just found out that my father was there - born 1948, moved on to St Francis Home for boys in Shefford in 1953. What was the purpose of the place? Why did people go there? and why did they leave? Thank you!

(quote) Re: The Alexandra Home, Hospital Road, Bury St Edmunds
I am doing some research on Alexandra house on hospital road, I used to live there a few years back it is now a childrens home, I do have a few questions I would like to ask you,

[sally]

Val, I know a little of what you are feeling/and will be feeling because when I started out on my husband's side of research, it quickly became clear that his father wasn't !

When the dust settled, and after many days of thinking and talking, the revelation which came as such a shock actually made a great many things clear and understandable about various aspects of his childhood and indeed later life.

I won't go into all the details, but just wanted to say that sometimes this sort of thing can actually heal the hurt of supposed injustice, or parental attitude.

[Guest]

Please everybody dont worry I'm not in pieces really Im not.
Just determined to find out more
I have one Aunt left my Fathers youngest Sister she is in the USA , when I mentioned it to her she was surprised, but did say its odd but she does not have any photos or remember seeing me ever as a baby or young child even though my family lived with her at my nans from just after the war .
But she does have photos of my Sister and Brother .????

[Guest]

Sally I know what you mean it does explain a lot .

[Mary from Italy]

I have one Aunt left my Fathers youngest Sister she is in the USA , when I mentioned it to her she was surprised, but did say its odd but she does not have any photos or remember seeing me ever as a baby or young child even though my family lived with her at my nans from just after the war .
But she does have photos of my Sister and Brother .????

That's a bit odd, Val. I'm afraid you're opening up a can of worms here.

When did your aunt move to the USA? How old would you have been then?

Could you be adopted, do you think?

Forget that, it'd be obvious from your birth cert, wouldn't it.