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  • Your honest opinions please!

    I've been searching for 3 years for my GG Gmothers birth and death and am over the moon that I've finally found them. I was led astray by believing what I found on IGI (submitted record) and have realised that the info that was submitted came from the 1881 census. The entry also had her as married but I was practically certain through a process of elimination that this wasn't the case.

    My dilemma is do I tell the 8 people who have her on their tree on GR that they have the wrong date, place of birth etc. I want to tell them but am a little reluctant because they are on very large trees. If they were a direct ancestor I would have no hesitation.

    What are your opinions on this please?
    Elaine

    Researching - Weatherall, Spenceley, Readman, Conquer

  • #2
    personally I wouldn't bother.

    if they can't be bothered to verify the information, that's their problem.
    Vicky

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    • #3
      From my experience people do not like to be told they are wrong even if they have asked to be told, never mind if they haven't! So, if it was me I wouldn't bother. I would just gloat to myself about being the only one who is right!! lol

      I would make detailed notes as to why I am right and they are wrong (it's surprising how these things can get forgotten!) in case any of them contacted me in the future.

      Comment


      • #4
        I have a large tree .... but would be most grateful if someone had proved an error. & told me - otherwise anyone reading my tree would only be copying a mistake, not good!
        Bridget

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        • #5
          I think this highlights the problems of copying information from other people.

          There is a version of my tree on GR (I've taken mine off now) that has a serious error in that they have the wrong birth place for a chap born 1798. Its now done the rounds and about a dozen people are chasing the wrong line backwards. All because no-one bothered to check the info they were given. (And its an easy one too, the 1851 census entry, a map & a bit of common sense, then 5 minutes on the IGI - its an extracted record)
          Vicky

          Comment


          • #6
            I agree Vicky. I soon realised there was no such place in Halifax called Wenden, but through a bit of digging I finally found her with a variation in her surname (and christian name).

            When I first started out I grabbed every person I could and added them to my tree. I am now in the process of going through what I have and find it much more satisfying finding the information myself. I now have a correct tree on FTM but still have an early one on GR. Strangley enough I never added my GG Gmother on GR because I knew things didn't add up so they all got the incorrect info elsewhere.
            Elaine

            Researching - Weatherall, Spenceley, Readman, Conquer

            Comment


            • #7
              I wouldn't bother - I have never known anyone alter their tree just because I say they are wrong - even when I send them proof of certs etc!

              OC

              Comment


              • #8
                Same here....................

                I had a tree on GR that was completely wrong. I just added people all over the place so I could add to the "trying to find" board. Not long after I joined I sent a message to someone and didn't realize I had to untick the box about showing your tree.

                The other person took my tree and added it to hers. It even had my next door neighbour on it because I was helping her!!!!!

                I contacted her and told her the tree was wrong and offered her the parts she might want from my personal tree.
                I have never had a reply to any of my messages and had to get GR to take the living people off her tree.
                The tree is still there. If I search for any of the names they'll still come up with her name as the tree owner.

                So after that long answer (LOL)I wouldn't bother!!!

                Comment


                • #9
                  No, I wouldn't bother either. I have a distant ancestor who left her husband and children and ran off with his half cousin. Her children were apparantly told she had died.
                  I have been in contact with three of the descendants of these children who all have her year of death as the year she left them.
                  There is no death in the indexes for her at that time.
                  I have a copy of her death cert over 40 years later, sent to me by her great grandaughter. She married her lover after her first husband died many years after she left him.

                  None of these three people are even interested in seeing her 2nd marriage cert or her death cert. I have offered them. They would rather believe the lies they were told. Either that or they just can't be bothered to alter their trees.

                  My inclination is that they refuse to believe that the "family story" is just that, a story.

                  I cannot understand people who would rather have a tree that is completely wrong than to unlock a skeleton in the cupboard.

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Margaret

                    I'm following a thread on GR - can't answer it cos I'm no longer a paying member - but a similar story.

                    "Her mother died when she (daughter) was still at school but we can't find a death cert". "No, she definitely died, she remembers being told"

                    I want to scream "Look for a divorce!" Unless the daughter actually attended her mother's funeral, there is every chance she just left the home or was kicked out, and went off with someone else.

                    I think it is probably too much to take for some people, to find they have been told wicked lies all their life, by the father who brought them up, very often. I can sort of understand that....but what I CANNOT understand is those who resist the information that they are NOT descended from Tilly Budd, because if they look in the parish register, she died aged four in 1730!!!

                    OC

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      When I first started my tree i copied a lot of what i had found from other trees... and added what my MIL found for me.
                      Now that i am learning to find things out on my own and how to research certain things i hardly copy any info from other trees (before i double check the info).
                      If anyone came across a mistake on my tree I would like to be informed... i could research what i have and what the other person has and make the necessary alterations, as I have not gone back and triple checked everything i have in my tree.
                      But this is just based on me.... not everyone can handle being corrected lol
                      I’m no genealogist …
                      Until this year I spelled it “GeneOlogist!"
                      ;)

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        I must say I was a bit annoyed at first, when someone pointed out a flaw in my tree - but only annoyed at myself for not checking more carefully, because I could see quite easily where I had gone wrong. Pity really, because I can find so much more on the wrong family and very little on my family.

                        I cannot see the point of continuing to research the wrong family and was really grateful to the person for getting me back on the right branch.

                        Di
                        Diane
                        Sydney Australia
                        Avatar: Reuben Edward Page and Lilly Mary Anne Dawson

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          I think I would tell them, but not expect them to do anything about it - if there are 8 people with the same mistake in their trees then probably 7 of them copied it from the 8th person and wouldn't know where to start with correcting it, and / or can't be bothered. But you never know.

                          The only ones I can't bring myself to tell people are where the person doing the tree is somebody I actually know well and they have gone wrong just a few generations back, then traced that line back hundreds of years! Maybe one day somebody else will tell them...
                          KiteRunner

                          Every five years or so I look back on my life and I have a good... laugh"
                          (Indigo Girls, "Watershed")

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            It is a tricky one. I had given part of my tree to someone on GR and he proceeded to put all my info on his tree, but I decided to check the marriage by purchasing the cert, which he should have done, as it was too sideways for me. I discovered he had indeed married an Eliza from Great Dunmow but the wrong Eliza!! There were two born the same time. I knew who the father was so knew the cert I had was correct. I then sent a note to the person on GR because he was clearly going down the wrong path, and he was grateful to be told and did take my tree off his. However, I did the same to someone in Australia and they refused to play ball, so sometimes people are grateful and sometimes you get nowhere! Take your pick. I can only say that I am glad I have tried to save people time and effort but if they will not accept then that's their problem.

                            Janet

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              I've even tried the "It's me who is wrong" approach but that doesn't work either.

                              I say something like: "You have Joe Bloggs married to Anne Smith. I have him married to Joan Brown and I must have got the wrong certificate. I would be very grateful if you could tell me when and where Joe and Anne married so that I can corect my information"

                              I never hear another word from them. Personally, I would be very grateful for any corrections to my tree. (Or any information at all, actually, lol)

                              OC

                              Comment


                              • #16
                                i would say yes tell them - as your good deed and the fact you have taken the time to find the correct info - but as everyone else has said you will be wasting your time as ppl dont like to be told they are wrong and are very unlikely to change what they have.

                                do keep a note of it on paper incase anyone at any point in the future questions IF it's the same person but why you and x,y,z all have differetn info and dates.
                                **no point asking the living for help as the dead are more helpful!!!**

                                https://purplerosefamilytree.blogspot.com/

                                Comment


                                • #17
                                  There is an incorrect submitted entry for one of my ancestors. The submitter has looked at the 1851 census, seen John Close - son of head (Barton) and Mary Ann Close - daughter of head (Barton) and assumed Mary Ann is daughter and John is son in law. So they have stated on the IGI that John Close married Mary Ann Barton.

                                  I feel quite smug because I have gone to the trouble to get their daughter's birth certificate and Mary's MN is FENWICK! Rather annoyingly I can't confirm it further as I can't find their marriage. Another story lol.

                                  The head of house on the 1851 is John Close's (step)father.

                                  It can be very confusing!!

                                  Oh, sorry, to answer your question - yes, I would tell them to give them the chance to correct their info. If they choose not to, so be it. You know YOU are right.
                                  Rose

                                  Comment


                                  • #18
                                    I agree I would tell them, as some one has said it will be your good deed for the day..the GRO costs a lot of money to prove if a person should be on you tree or not, I found a 2nd cousin on GR and he had our Greatgrand ma/pa living in the wilds of now where, when they had never been out of Wandsworth. He was not happy to be told at first, but is now very glad, as he is now in contact with my side of the family who live just down the road from him, and he never knew.
                                    Sheila walking cat.gif
                                    I think, therefore I am. Descarte

                                    Comment


                                    • #19
                                      Thankyou everyone for your opinions on this. I think I am going to tell them all and then as you say its up to them what they do with the info. To be honest I don't think they'll be bothered as its not their direct line. Hopefully a couple will change their tree and it'll highlight on GR that there is a problem to any newcomers and not just to accept things.

                                      They all have the right person on their tree but its the birthplace (no such place exists) and the year of birth thats wrong. Her true full name only appears on her birth cert and death cert. They also have her as married (to the man that she lived with) and that all her children are his. This may be the case for most of her children but unfortunatley not the one that matters to me (my GGFather).

                                      She never married even thought the 1891 states they were and were living under his name. He died a few years later in the workhouse - single.

                                      I am just really pleased that I managed to find the correct certs after 3 years of looking.

                                      Thankyou again for your opinions.
                                      Elaine

                                      Researching - Weatherall, Spenceley, Readman, Conquer

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