My 99 year old Nanna!

[Norfolk Marsh Gal]

2 questions

Do I tell my Nanna every thing I have found about her grandmother even though it is not what she whould want to hear?

I started researching family history to try to prove that my nan's grandmother was part Spanish, which was what nan had always been told and always believed. I think that Sophia my grt grt grandmother made up a lot of romantic stories to cover up that she was orphaned and in the workhouse most of her life. The only spanish link i could find was that her sister worked for a Spanish lady in 1851.

The other thing is what sort of questions do you think I should ask her?

I always think of loads of things to ask and she has a fabulous memory but she gets side tracked with wonderful stories of scandal and gossip of the time which are very interesting but i don't come home with much family stuff

I will be seeing her at Easter, unfortunately only get to visit twice a year


Thank you

[Little Nell]

Would your Nanna like the truth or to hang on to her fantasy?

As for what to ask - what do you want to know? Where are the gaps in your family history that her knowledge could fill?

[Norfolk Marsh Gal]

Thanks Nell,

i think she would rather hang on to her story, last time i tried to say anything she said i must have got it wrong, but she only has what her grandmother told her mum to go by.

I think i have every single family fact, dates and so on (nan is brilliant as far as dates are concerned) but was wondering if anyone could come up with some interesting questions i had not thought of?

[Little Nell]

Well without knowing what Nanna knows, its hard to know what question to ask, isn't it?

[Uncle John]

I wouldn't go bursting her bubble. But (as has been said here before), asserting as true something you know to be false, may produce a pile of useful info. about who married who etc.

[Olde Crone Holden]

No, I wouldn't shatter her illusions - just say you haven't managed to find proof yet of the spanish origin and tell her what you HAVE found.

The spanish connection might be further back than you (and she) think and the sister may have been working for the spanish lady BECAUSE there was a family connection (which may not have been an official one, lol).

Ask her what she knows about the gaps in your research. Personally I would just let her ramble on and jump in with questions as they occur to you.

OC

[Norfolk Marsh Gal]

Nell, I was just thinking of questions that might flesh out the family bones.

thanks uncle John, I think i will tell her about her grandmothers father who was born out of wedlock so whose father could still possibly be Spanish!

[Norfolk Marsh Gal]

thank you OC, I have a feeling that the Spanish story had to come from somewhere. so far I've only managed to get 2 generations back from Nan's grandmother so there could still be Spanish ancesters but why they whould be in rural Norfolk?

[Olde Crone Holden]

Gawd knows!

Same reason as my French Count finished up living on a hill farm in Yorkshire, I suppose! Although that looks as if it might be a VERY old kinship from at least 250 years before.

OC

[Simon in Bucks]

OK - well if I were visiting a 99 year old..............I'd just be asking questions.........and doing loads of listening (can you tape her on a dictaphone ?) - would she do a little bit of video ?

Especially if I only were to see them twice a year.

I'd be asking about her parents - then anything she know on her grandparents / uncles / aunts. Just do them one at a time - what does she remember about them - little facts/stories etc etc - just adds to the people from many years ago.

Then go through her own life - go through roughly from start to now - let her tell you her life story - then you need to ask her opinions on things that happened in her lifetime.............does she remember the end of WW1 ? The Depression ? The appeasement of Hitler ? What does she recall of WW2 events - War Breaking out, Dunkirk, Battle of Britain, Street Parties for the end of WW2 ?

Moving through her own life...........marriage / kids / grandchildren - her thoughts, hopes and dreams.

What would the younger her..............think of the world in 2008 ?

Quite a bit to ask I guess. I'd take the viewpoint, that you should make the most of the opportunity while you can. Don't leave questions until 'next time'.

**********

I'd not bother too much about the Spannish angle - if she asks you - then just say you are still looking into it.

Good luck and enjoy.

Simon

[Vivienne]

As Simon says, I would definitely try to get her on tape. There may be info in the stories that is not registering at the time but when you get home & listen again you will hear it.
Think about how people say they never remember what the doctor has told them but you can be sure he has told them all they should know.

How I wish we had put our old Walters tape recorder to better use when Mum & Dad used to tell me tales of their younger lives & how they got bombed out of London in 1940. I remember quite a lot but I'm sure there was more that I have forgotten, too late now.:(

[Simon in Bucks]

As Simon says, I would definitely try to get her on tape. There may be info in the stories that is not registering at the time but when you get home & listen again you will hear it.
Think about how people say they never remember what the doctor has told them but you can be sure he has told them all they should know.

How I wish we had put our old Walters tape recorder to better use when Mum & Dad used to tell me tales of their younger lives & how they got bombed out of London in 1940. I remember quite a lot but I'm sure there was more that I have forgotten, too late now.:(

Yes, and don't forget in 20 years you might find out something that relates to something your Grandmother tells you in 2008.

[maggie_4_7]

Yes exactly that.

Its like being a witness to something happening. You'd be suprised what you miss.

Sometimes even the 'wrong' facts have some clue or bearing.

Recording is good but it seems intrusive and planned and sometimes when older people want to talk about their family's past its usually spontaneous.

So you'd always have to be armed so to speak.

[Simon in Bucks]

Yes exactly that.

Its like being a witness to something happening. You'd be suprised what you miss.

Sometimes even the 'wrong' facts have some clue or bearing.

Recording is good but it seems intrusive and planned and sometimes when older people want to talk about their family's past its usually spontaneous.

So you'd always have to be armed so to speak.

I'd still be tempted just to do a tiny bit of recording............so you have the voice talking about her past. That'll be so great in years to come.

[gloryer]

well I wouldnt have told my mum that she had 6 half siblings but I was communicating with them and felt that I was going behind her back and thought it only fair that she should know. They did try to contact her back in the 60's via snail mail but her dad gave them a rebuffing and told them to leave them alone as they had moved on now.....
Mum was 76 before she even saw a photo of her mother.