Should I write to him?

[Margaret in Burton]

I have discovered during a conversation with another cousin that my first cousins son is now the vicar where our mutual ancester was born.Not the same parish, but very close.

The thing is, I haven't seen my cousin for about 40 years. I have never met his son. A second cousin who lived close to said cousin contacted him years ago and he wasn't interested in the family tree.

The fact that cousins son is in the place where his 4 x great grandad was born intrigues me.

I have composed a letter to the son, the vicar, as I don't have an address for cousin but have googled the son and have an address for him.

No animosity in the family just no contact for years.

What do you think?

[dicole]

Just because your cousin does not have interest in his family history, does not follow that his son, the vicar does not. He might be really intrigued, especially if he can look at the original parish registers etc

Di

[Tilly Mint]

Hiya Margaret,

I would have to make contact, as Di says, this Vicar may want contact with family members.
Hope you get a reply from your letter - i'm sure you will :D

The best of luck

Jacky xx :D

[JBee]

Yes why not?

He can always say he's not interested - but interest in genealogy has expanded greatly these last few years so there's a chance he would be interested especially with an ancestor coming from the local area.

I would explain that you've found out your relative lived such and such in 18?? and a bit about him.

Always worth a try.

[Simon in Bucks]

He's a Vicar................got to be interested in 'the family' !

Send it - good luck.

[Margaret in Burton]

Well what do you reckon to this then, I've taken out the names and places as he is on google for the parish concerned.

Hello. I don’t really know how to start this letter as we have never met, but your father is my first cousin. I wanted to write to him but do not have his address.
My mother and your grandfather Frank were brother and sister. I met our mutual cousin Sheila just before Christmas and she told me that you were at **********
The reason I am writing this letter as I find that quite intriguing. I have been researching the family tree for over 20 years now and doubt that you are aware that the ***** family came from **********.
My 3 x great grandfather and your 4 x great grandfather Thomas ***** was born there around 1774, according to the 1851 census. I haven’t managed to get any further back than this as the records for *********, which I believe was the only church in the area at the time, are in Birmingham central library. I know it is not far from me but having a disabled husband time is short.
Thomas joined the 17th foot Leicestershire regiment and spent most of his military life in India. He had three wives and seventeen children in all, although a lot died in infancy. He served 26 years in the army and retired in 1819. I then found him in 1841 in ****** and in 1851 in ******where he died in 1853. He is buried in *****
Please pass on my good wishes to your father; it is many many years since we have seen each other. If you are interested in the family history please contact me.

[Simon in Bucks]

Margaret,

I would cut out all the bits about what you have found..............paraphrase/summarise it like this....."I have found details on our shared ancestors that include...... :-

*the 17th Foot regiment from Leicester
*India
*many marriages and children
and another couple of details

"And of course many other little bits and pieces"

Short and sweet - like you are offering him bait !

Keep in the early lines about who you are - how you are related and meeting Sheila.

The end bit about passing on regards to his father is great and if he wants to have more info / or does he know more etc etc

That's how I'd do it. Too many details will turn him right off.

Please don't be offended by my thoughts. And of course an SAE. Good luck - fingers crossed for you.

Simon

[Tilly Mint]

Margaret,

I think it is a good letter, i also think he will be over the moon to recieve it,

You have also included his Dad, this leaves the door open if he wants to contact you too,

The best of Luck to you - keep us updated if you decide to go ahead.

Jacky xx

[Jill on the A272]

I had an email today after writing to a very distant relation, having written enquiring if he was the son of ****, and enclosing the most basic of family trees showing our link. I offered to send more if he was interested and he got back to me today with names, dates and his phone number. Go ahead and try, you've got nothing to lose.

[Christine in Herts]

I think it would be entirely reasonable to write a letter along the lines of your draft. Simon's idea of abridging it seems wise: however much we might enjoy the details, we can't be certain who else will do so!

You might replace the section

My 3 x great grandfather and...
...where he died in 1853. He is buried in *****

with something along the lines of "As you may imagine, I have been able to assemble quite a bit of information about this part of the family, although there are still gaps I should like to fill. If the family history is of interest to you, I should be delighted to share with you what I have found."

The start and finish seem fine to me.

Christine

[Margaret in Burton]

Thank you all for your thoughts.

I am a bit dubious about admitting not being able to go to Birmingham as I think it sort of asks him about research.

BUT, the reason I have not done that after 20 years is that took me until the 1841 and 1851 census was online to find where Thomas was. He retired in India and I didn't even know if he returned to this country or died in India. I had found his son, my great great grandfather on later census being born in India.

I will tidy the letter up a bit I think, but I will send it.

I only have the address of the church. Shall I send it to.
The Reverend ************
c/o the church in question?

The reason I am not trying to get my cousins address even though other cousins probably know it, is that he has said a few years ago he wasn't interested. Not to me, but it was said.

[Margaret in Burton]

You might replace the section

with something along the lines of "As you may imagine, I have been able to assemble quite a bit of information about this part of the family, although there are still gaps I should like to fill. If the family history is of interest to you, I should be delighted to share with you what I have found."

The start and finish seem fine to me.

Christine

Christine

You have put that part so much better than me. Hope you don't mind I have copied it.

[Little Nell]

Margaret

You have absolutely nothing to lose and everything to gain. My experience of contacting relatives in my and husband's trees has resulted in
a) letter promising a photo, providing information
b) an e-mail containing an excel spreadsheet of family info
c) invitation to lunch and viewing of family photos

So go for it!

[Margaret in Burton]

Hi Nell

Letter composed. SAE in envelope. Will be posted tomorrow.

Like you say, I have nothing to lose.

If you believe in fate, then was it fate that sent this person to this town as vicar? Where his 4 x great grandfather was born.

[Lin Fisher]

Hi Margaret

Good Luck and I hope you hear something soon.

Nothing ventured, nothing gained.

Lin

[Margaret in Burton]

If I hear anything before this thread is deleted I will let you all know.

[Christine in Herts]

Margaret, I'm very chuffed that you should think I had worded what you wanted to say so successfully... So, no, I don't mind at all that you've copied it.

You said you'd found the info online. Does the Parish have a website? Many parishes now have a Parish Office to which you might send you letter. Otherwise, it could be to [St John's] Vicarage (or Rectory, if his post is titled "Rector" rather than "Vicar").

Is he in the BT phonebook? That might give you a correct (and full) postal address.

Christine

[Christine in Herts]

Or I do have an old (1989/90) copy of Crockford's. If you give me the parish name (in a PM, of course) I might have the address in there - though it may be out of date as parishes get amalgamated over time so the rector/vicar can only live in one of the parishes.

Christine

[Margaret in Burton]

Christine

I have the address of the church, thank you for the offer.

He is quite a young vicar, born 1971.

Yes, there is a website, but I didn't see any contact details.

I think I would rather send a letter anyway.

[Kit]

Margaret I think the letter is fine. Send it and let us know how it works out.

Good luck.