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Could someone confirm the relationship link

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  • Could someone confirm the relationship link

    Hi

    I have a couple of DNA matches that also have triangulated matches, so I'm pretty confident of a link. however getting info from the people I link to is proving impossible and I don't want to harass anyone!

    So what I have is:

    Person A - to me they are great uncle or a first cousin (they could be others, such as great grandparent, however due to the age of my actual grandparents I think this is verging on the impossible. I'm also not convinced of the first cousin bit, given what I believe to be the age of this person (unfortunately it doesn't look like they have given their age on My Heritage so I'm having to go from the only birth registration I can find with this persons name). Total 916cm

    Person B - to me they are 3-4 cousin (65cm) and to person A they are 1st cousin twice removed to 3rd cousin once removed. (100cm)

    So to person A our "link" if I go with the great uncle is my great grandparents

    To person B our link is between 2-3 great grandparents and straight across (when looking at a relationship chart, no removed)

    Person A-B is across 1 down 2 generations to straight across and one down. That potentially means their relationship is person A's grandparents

    there also seems to be a common link of Battersea between these two too, although none to me that I know of yet

    This means the possible link is my 3x great grandparents

    Does that sound logical? I know this isn't a guarantee, I'm just trying to find somewhere to start. I have sent to Ancestry my mums DNA and my paternal grandmothers DNA, so in 6-8 weeks I should be able to distinguish between one side of my family to the other but I'm too impatient to wait that long!
    Last edited by Lensgirl; 30-03-18, 10:34.
    Robyne


    Name interests: Alderton, Osborne, Danslow, Hanley, Bowkett, Lakin, Elliott, Banner, Walters, Reed, Deighton, Sleight, Dungar ;)

  • #2
    isnt it frustrating? I have had a few matches which wont reveal their connections. I know its on my grandmothres side but thats as far as i can get. Like you I dont want to hassle people but find it a bit rude not to divulge what you know.

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    • #3
      Originally posted by gloryer View Post
      isnt it frustrating? I have had a few matches which wont reveal their connections. I know its on my grandmothres side but thats as far as i can get. Like you I dont want to hassle people but find it a bit rude not to divulge what you know.
      I can fully understand why some people don't want to reveal their connection. Because it's concerning the DNA of a living person (i.e. themself), perhaps it makes any link much more personal than swapping information about deceased ancestors, and so an inquiry could seem intrusive.

      People do DNA testing for a variety of reasons, sometimes to try to find out about more "delicate" family set ups/relationships, which may be of a very sensitive or embarrassing nature to the DNA donor. Is the matching up and informing a standard consequence of the test result process?

      Also, of course, some people simply don't want to share extended family information, be it from an online tree or DNA results. We've all come across cases of people feeling put out by "tree snatchers" etc.
      So, no, I personally don't find it a bit rude not to divulge what you know.

      Jay
      Last edited by Janet in Yorkshire; 30-03-18, 12:45.
      Janet in Yorkshire



      Genealogists never die - they just swap places in the family tree

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      • #4
        I do agree with everything you've said on this Jay especially re those who have tested for sensitive reasons ie adoptees or those who are from one parent families and there must be an awful lot of them I'm sure. Also there are millions now who have had their DNa tested but how many actually understand or know what to do with them once they have the results? It is not an exactly easy science to follow.
        Kat

        My avatar is my mother 1921 - 2012

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        • #5
          I find it amazing that a company can sell you a product (DNA testing) but not supply you with an instruction manual on how to interpret the results!

          If you bought an expensive TV and the manufacturer said in effect, it's not our fault if you are too stupid to work it out, they would soon go out of business.

          OC

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          • #6
            Originally posted by Janet in Yorkshire View Post
            I can fully understand why some people don't want to reveal their connection. Because it's concerning the DNA of a living person (i.e. themself), perhaps it makes any link much more personal than swapping information about deceased ancestors, and so an inquiry could seem intrusive.

            People do DNA testing for a variety of reasons, sometimes to try to find out about more "delicate" family set ups/relationships, which may be of a very sensitive or embarrassing nature to the DNA donor. Is the matching up and informing a standard consequence of the test result process?

            Also, of course, some people simply don't want to share extended family information, be it from an online tree or DNA results. We've all come across cases of people feeling put out by "tree snatchers" etc.
            So, no, I personally don't find it a bit rude not to divulge what you know.

            Jay
            Yes I can understand if the connection is a 'sensitive' subject but to say that I am connected to her mothers side and thats it with no name or anything for me to go with. I have mine openly available for everybody to look at so they can see the connection.

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            • #7
              It is a bit frustrating when no useful info is volunteered but what puzzles me is why do folks list themselves if they are not looking to connect? If the test was done for health/ delicate family reasons then all the tester needs to do tick the appropriate box on registration of the kit to say they don't want matches or to be seen as a match. Ancestry has that option, I don't know about the others as I have not tested with them only uploaded raw data with the purpose of being found.
              Last edited by GallowayLass; 30-03-18, 15:50.

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              • #8
                Originally posted by GallowayLass View Post
                It is a bit frustrating when no useful info is volunteered but what puzzles me is why do folks list themselves if they are not looking to connect? If the test was done for health/ delicate family reasons then all the tester needs to do tick the appropriate box on registration of the kit to say they don't want matches or to be seen as a match. Ancestry has that option, I don't know about the others as I have not tested with them only uploaded raw data with the purpose of being found.
                Once AncestryDNA started advertising itself, I started to notice a lot more new kits that had no trees associated with them. AncestryDNA started to really focus itself as a way to find your ethnicity/ancestry by just spitting and paying a few bucks -> more kits with no trees. I think of this as people expecting an instant tree.

                And they login once to see their results and may never login again. There does not seem to be any concern that others are expecting to interact and find a common ancestor. That's not their goal. They've achieved it - they have an ethnicity report.

                Usually these kits have a membership-since date that is just a few weeks before their results were completed.

                And then there's the kits that are given for Christmas. The novelty wears off soon after the results are made available.

                Which just means that serious genetic genealogists just have to learn to manage their expectations and learn patience!

                And, as an add-on thought: cousin-contact may happen years after an initial message. There's still hope!
                Last edited by PhotoFamily; 02-04-18, 01:24.

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                • #9
                  Originally posted by PhotoFamily View Post
                  The novelty wears off soon after the results are made available.
                  I think this may apply to me now. I was so thrilled and excited when I got mine but nobody else seems bothered...lol
                  I was immediately connected to my cousins in usa and my aunt was also thrilled at this as it confirms what we already knew and I am also now convinced my dad is a Smith and not a Pearson. But anybody that I have had contact with through the DNA connections just doesnt seem to share the enthusiasm. Maybe that people that use the paper trail have to do so much work finding connections that they appreciate each others determination but the DNA results are just given to you on a plate....
                  I also wondered where my Freed family originate from, always supected Denmark but apparently I have Hungarian connections so I am now guessing thats where they are from

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                  • #10
                    I tested with FTDNA just before Christmas as my local Family History Group had a discount offer on. I was so excited during the time I had to wait for my results. I couldn't sleep thinking about it and I checked religiously every day looking to see if my results were back. I was thrilled when it came back with over 4000 matches :D

                    I couldn't wait to start contacting people to see if we could work together to find a common ancestor and add to our trees. I sent a quick message to the person at the top of my list. They did reply but they were really abrupt, telling me they didn't even know which kit I was talking about as they managed loads. Then went on to tell me that whatever length centimorgans we matched wasn't a close match at all! I felt so let down. It took me about a month to pluck up courage to send any more messages to other matches. Only one has replied. He was lovely but unfortunately although some of our ancestors came from similar places we were unable to find a match at the moment.

                    I would say about half the matches in my list - and yes I read through all 4000+ lol - don't have any surname details attached to their profile and some are obviously managed by other people.

                    Still it hasn't put me off - I took advantage of Ancestry's Easter discount and have bought a kit from them, just waiting to do the test in the morning and post it off. I've also uploaded to Gedmatch.

                    I'm not naive enough to expect an instant tree from DNA but I do hope that I can match up with 'cousins' and expand our trees together filling out missing parts or adding more meat to the bones. I've put a lot of work into my research over the past 30 years and to me this is just another 'branch' of research. I won't be stopping the long nights poring over the internet or days spent in various record offices or tramping round graveyards.

                    One thing DNA did confirm to me - I'm 99% British Isles (I knew that anyway = all my rellies are Scottish and Irish) and 1% East Middle East lol. But apparently that's just likely to be'noise'.

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Happychick -
                      Sorry that genetic cousins are not being communicative - but welcome to genetic genealogy!

                      I hope you'll also upload your raw data to gedmatch.com. MyHeritage and LivingDNA will also upload your raw DNA and put together a list of your genetic matches on those sites.

                      And - 23andme is quite a different site. My kits there have matches that exist nowhere else. But - 23andme does not upload raw data from other sites, and their database members test for different reasons. Those who test for "health" reports, or as a part of a study, are less likely to respond to your requests. But 23andme's tools are nice. Testing outside the US can be quite pricey, especially shipping. Some people use address-forwarding businesses to get around that.

                      I have a fair number of Canadian, UK and Oz relatives who have tested at that site.

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                      • #12
                        Its really frustrating, especially as we have a fair few illegitimate children in our family and to know a grandfather would be such a bonus! I have uploaded to Gedmatch but dont massively understand it as its quite anonymous, so have no idea of any links and dont want to go contacting 4.5 and further back generations as its probably not that relevant!
                        Robyne


                        Name interests: Alderton, Osborne, Danslow, Hanley, Bowkett, Lakin, Elliott, Banner, Walters, Reed, Deighton, Sleight, Dungar ;)

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