A tale of the forlorn sight of an old unmarked grave...

[Quasimodo]

So after a good bit of looking I finally found the grave of my Great Great Grandmother Mary Morison buried in the Melbourne General Cemetery in 1884 and was presented with a small and pitiable unmarked grave. The sight of it was made more melancholy by the knowledge that her youngest son and three of her grand children had also been crammed into the same narrow space between 1882 and 1893.

This tells me that very likely she and her family were as poor as church mice. And it seems from looking at Rate Books and Business Directories from the time that Mary may well have been separated from her husband Andrew Irvine for at least ten years before her death. He was working as a wood carter down in Mulgrave while she was living in South Melbourne.

I learned that Andrew had died in the Melbourne Benevolent Asylum and had most probably been given a pauper's burial in the Melbourne General Cemetery. So there is no chance of finding him there as pauper's burials were not recorded. At first I was a little taken aback that he had seemingly been "filed and forgotten" by his family. But if he and Mary had gone their separate ways some good time past that makes more sense.

Has anyone had any experience of having an old grave "restored" and properly marked with a stone or concrete slab of some sort with an inscribed brass plaque? I'm just wondering how much of a thankless task it might turn out to be if I undertook to do it and how many pitfalls there might be in wait for a newbie.

[kylejustin]

You'd have to talk to the cemetery. I was there recently, and saw many new monuments on old graves, by descendants. A lot of graves on MGC are in terrible condition. I was in warracknabeal, vic recently too. Up there all the graves are pristine, the headstones cleaned, and lettering painted black to read them on the white headstones.

[Quasimodo]

That's nice to hear about Warracknabeal. The people there seem to have a due regard for their history. Yes sadly parts of the MGC are in very poor condition. But at least they haven't built right over the top of it like they did with the Old Melbourne Cemetery! I used to shop at the Queen Victoria Market regularly when I was young and I had no idea I was walking over the likely final "resting" place of some of my ancestors.

I would love to see the QV Market moved elsewhere and the Old Melbourne Cemetery restored. If it was done properly it might give Melbourne something of what it sorely lacks, a soul. It seems scandalous to me that they proposed such a horrible thing and got away with it. They showed absolutely no respect for the people buried there or regard for the historical integrity of the city.

[herky]

My sister and I had a stone put in place for my great grandparents burial place. Also in the grave were two infants - one their child and a grandchild. The cost is not cheap but what we did was write to all the 1st cousins in the family to find out if they were agreeable and some donated towards the cost.
And of course we had to provide proof of who we were and the agreement of other family members to the local authority as we were not "owners" of the plot.
It is lovely to see their final resting place now marked, however it would be impossible to do this for all my unmarked relatives.
In fact I would say that more are unmarked than marked in my family of crofters and fishermen.

On another note and another branch when I found great grandparents without a grave marker I took a cutting from a tree that was growing by the grave. I managed to root it and now have "gran's" tree growing in my garden and that is my way of remembering her.

[Olde Crone Holden]

I can't speak for Australia, but in the UK a municipal grave is normally leased for a number of years, not sold outright, so it would not be easy to put up a memorial stone and impossible in many cases.

My late father's plot is leased for 25 years. As next of kin I will have the option to extend when the 25 years is up, but at a price of course.

OC

[herky]

I can't speak for Australia, but in the UK a municipal grave is normally leased for a number of years, not sold outright, so it would not be easy to put up a memorial stone and impossible in many cases.

My late father's plot is leased for 25 years. As next of kin I will have the option to extend when the 25 years is up, but at a price of course.

OC

That's interesting - in Scotland I don't think there is a time limit but I may be wrong. I have to say the council do look after the cemetery nicely.
We didn't have too much problem in getting the stone approved. I think I may have sent them the certs from myself, parents, grand and great grandparents a proof of my lineage along with little slips from the cousins expressing no objection.

[Olde Crone Holden]

My father is buried in a municipal cemetery and we were only allowed a flat memorial stone of a specified size. This is so that the mowing machines have a clear run. The cemetery is beautifully kept.

Churchyards are different of course, with different rules. One of my ancestors is buried in a grave which is owned in perpetuity. The graveyard is a disgrace but of course, who should be keeping the graves neat and tidy - the families of course.

OC

[Dossie]

Hi I don't know about the system in Australia nor in England but I hold the title deeds for the grave belonging to my parents and my grandparents which is in Scotland so I think if I wanted to raise a headstone on my grandparents grave if I hold the deed then I could put a stone where there is none. (my folk have a headstone on theirs) I think there are some rules and regulations. It is something I have always wanted to do for my grandparents but never could quite afford it.

[kylejustin]

The printout of grave information from MGC would tell you if the grave was purchased in perpetuity. I know you can raise a monument, i just don't know the process.

[Quasimodo]

Kylejustin the grave was purchased until 9999, so close enough to "in perpetuity" I guess.

I have contacted the MGC and they have sent me a form to fill out. They want to know who holds the "Right of Internment". Well whoever it was they would be long gone by now. They want to know my relationship to those buried in the grave and if I have consulted and have the consent of other descendants of those buried in the grave to place a marker/monument on it.

So it's a similar routine to those others have described above. But it does mean I will have to do a bit of time consuming work chasing other descendants up before I can proceed.

[Dossie]

Oh Dear! You certainly have your work cut out fulfilling the rules and regulations of the council I do wish you luck with your quest.

Dossie

[Quasimodo]

Yes depending on how rigorously the MGC want to follow their regulations I might not even get to the starting line.

[Dossie]

Yes your right. I wonder if under the circumstances they might come and go a little but then again they might come back and say "Rules are Rules" and they apply across the board. It is a pity when you want to make something good happen.
Dossie