What difference is there between 'Lady' and 'Dame'?

[Shirley silver surfer]

An odd question!
An ancestor (very distant!) with no title, married a baronet. While her husband was alive she was referred to (in the census records) as 'Lady Fetherstonhaugh'. I have just come across a transcript of her will where she calls herself 'Dame Mary Ann Fetherstonhaugh'. Is there some sort of convention about the address of a widow of a baronet or was she anxious that people should know that she had no title in her own right?

Just curious! Any experts out there?

[Elwyn]

According to Debrett's, the wife of a baronet is titled Lady before her surname (assuming she has no other titles in her own right). If her husband dies then she should be called the Dowager Lady Fetherstonhaugh. Or she can be called Mary Ann, Lady Fetherstonhaugh.


The term Dame seems to be completely separate and indicates the lady has been awarded an order of chivalry in her own right. I’d therefore guess that the change in title in this case was due to this rather than to her husband’s death. But I am not an expert on the subject. For more details see this link to Debretts. There is a link which may be able to provide further details:

http://www.debretts.com/forms-of-address/titles/dame.aspx

[Jessbowbag]

Was he'sir Henry' ?

[Shirley silver surfer]

Yes, he was usually called 'Sir Harry Fetherstonhough' (I believe that the correct pronunciation is 'Fanshaw'). He married Mary Ann Bullock, his dairy maid, when she was 20 and he was 70! I am fairly sure she would not have been awarded an order of chivalry in her own right as she never entered 'Society' and lived quietly at Uppark until her death.

[Janet in Yorkshire]

Googling dame definition brought up the following on a dictionary site:

Definition of DAME
1
: a woman of rank, station, or authority: as archaic: themistress of a household
b: the wife or daughter of a lord
c: a female member of an order of knighthood —used as a titleprefixed to the given name
2
a: an elderly woman

I had a vague recollection of having heard it used as the form of address for elderly widows "of some substance/social standing."

Jay

[Shirley silver surfer]

Thanks.
Strictly speaking she would not be a dowager as her late husband had no heirs and the baronetcy lapsed - there could never be another 'Lady Fetherstonhaugh' to be confused with (sorry for the dangling preposition!). She did, however, inherit from her husband most of his property and therefore became quite a rich lady. When she died almost everything went to her unmarried sister, Frances Bullock, who then tagged on the Fetherstonhaugh name to her own. I believe the later owners were expected to change their names to Fetherstonhaugh in order to continue the broken line.